I didn't know about the contributor, I just transliterated my first name without further research.
Thank you again and I will try to improve the text with your feedback. In particular, your proposal for joyfulness is interesting. I also need to correct the term remorse and I can move on.
Search found 25 matches
- Sun Sep 23, 2018 4:43 am
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
- Replies: 7
- Views: 7060
- Sat Sep 22, 2018 6:38 am
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
- Replies: 7
- Views: 7060
Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire
The text becomes relatively close to the original but I can't translate the following expressions correctly. And we feed our mild remorse, mi pana e moku tawa toki mi pi pali ante. ona li pona. ? Our sins are insistent, our repentings are limp; ike mi li awen. wile mi pi pali ante li wawa ala. ? And...
- Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:20 pm
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
- Replies: 7
- Views: 7060
Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Hi, I had time to rework the translation, here is a suggestion. nasa en pakala en ike en awen jo li lon kon mi li pali e sijelo mi. mi pana e moku tawa toki mi pi pali ante. ona li pona. mi pali sama jan wile. ona li pana e moku tawa pipi. ike mi li awen. wile mi pi pali ante li wawa ala. jan li pan...
- Sat Sep 15, 2018 11:40 am
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
- Replies: 7
- Views: 7060
Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Your translation is not so far from the poem even though I have a lot to review.
Now that I think about it I haven't given the link to Beaudelaire's text, here it is: https://fleursdumal.org/poem/099 (French and English).
Now that I think about it I haven't given the link to Beaudelaire's text, here it is: https://fleursdumal.org/poem/099 (French and English).
- Sun Sep 09, 2018 6:06 am
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
- Replies: 7
- Views: 7060
To the Reader — Baudelaire
I really enjoyed the last translation exercise and I want to keep improving. So I thought about Beaudelaire's first poem. Here's the first step in translation? tawa jan lukin Sake Potelake nasa en pakala en ike en awen li lon kon mi li pali e sijelo mi. mi pana e moku tawa toki mi pi pali ante pi po...
- Fri Aug 31, 2018 2:23 pm
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: Genesis 1 translation
- Replies: 32
- Views: 26393
Re: Genesis 1 translation
Thanks for your interesting feedback. I've tried to take that into account as much as I can. open wan wan: open la sewi li pali e sewi e ma. tu: ma li pakala li jo e ala. pimeja li lon sinpin anpa. kon sewi li tawa lon sewi telo. tu wan: sewi li toki e ni: suno o lon. suno li lon. tu tu: sewi li luk...
- Tue Aug 28, 2018 3:02 pm
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: Genesis 1 translation
- Replies: 32
- Views: 26393
Re: Genesis 1 translation
I took all your comments into account to improve the text. This is the version I came up with. open nanpa wan wan open la sewi li pali e sewi e ma. tu ma li pakala li jo e ala. pimeja li sinpin anpa. kon sewi li tawa lon sewi telo. tu wan sewi li toki e ni: suno o lon. suno li lon. tu tu sewi li luk...
- Tue Aug 28, 2018 11:03 am
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: Genesis 1 translation
- Replies: 32
- Views: 26393
Re: Genesis 1 translation
I still think you should do 2:1-3 to finish the story There it is: open nanpa tu wan ni li nasin pini tawa sewi en ma en ale lon pi sewi anu ma. tu tenpo suno nanpa luka tu la sewi li pini e pali ona. tenpo suno nanpa luka tu la sewi li lape tan ni: ona li pini e pali ona. tu wan sewi li pana e pon...
- Tue Aug 28, 2018 7:08 am
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: Genesis 1 translation
- Replies: 32
- Views: 26393
Re: Genesis 1 translation
There are the last verses :) mute luka tu tu sewi li toki e ni: mi pana e kasi pi jo kiwen pi lon selo ma e kasi suli ale pi jo kili pi jo kiwen tawa sina. ni li moku sina. mute luka luka mi pana e moku pi kasi laso ale tawa soweli ma ale en waso sewi ale en akesi ma ale. ni li kama. mute luka luka ...
- Tue Aug 28, 2018 6:38 am
- Forum: kama sona toki
- Topic: Genesis 1 translation
- Replies: 32
- Views: 26393
Re: Genesis 1 translation
But ‘mije’ “male” for “human’ ‘jan’, seems clearly wrong That's right. I’m not sure about where/how the ‘tawa’ goes in; I suppose ‘soweli pi tawa pi lon ma ali’ If pi is used to change the word aggregation order, what is the point of putting it before a single word and not a group? The data is too ...