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Lullaby (at least, I've tried)
Posted: Thu May 09, 2013 4:35 am
by janKalepa
Writing an 'ancient' poetry in toki pona started really difficult for me. sama la pakala tawa monsi anpa... But then, I remebered, that poets always mess up a little with rulers, even in languages with almost no rules. So, I excuse myself for little errors, and come up with the lullaby. I was even able to sing it:
musi lape
a mi lape e jan lili.
oko tu li wile pini.
tenpo lape pi jan ali.
taso mun li wile pali...
...jan lili li lape pona
mama li lukin e ona.
Re: Lullaby (at least, I've tried)
Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:14 pm
by janKipo
sama pakala (no la)
Nice. only obvious rule break is 'mi li lape' where I think the dropping 'li' is not optional (now, but this is old fashioned, right?)
Re: Lullaby (at least, I've tried)
Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:07 am
by janKalepa
janKipo wrote:sama pakala (no la)
Nice. only obvious rule break is 'mi li lape' where I think the dropping 'li' is not optional (now, but this is old fashioned, right?)
If I'd write:
a mi lape e jan lili...
If 'a' is for any 'unwordly' sounds, it may go there, isn't it?
Re: Lullaby (at least, I've tried)
Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 11:53 am
by janKipo
yes. syllable count?
Re: Lullaby (at least, I've tried)
Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 1:41 pm
by jan_Anti
pona. taso kulupu nimi pini tu li pona lili tawa mi.
musi li kepeken e nasin "-.-.-.-." "A mi LApe E jan LIli."
taso: "JAN liLI li LApe POna. MAma LI luKIN e Ona." "liLI" en "luKIN" li ike.
Re: Lullaby (at least, I've tried)
Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 3:28 pm
by janSilipu
Tp metre is a bear, given all words are accent initial, so we can't reliably do iambs or dactyls or torches or sponges or any of those guys. May heap we go just for syllable counts like tanka and haiku or for stresses per line without count of unstressed (cf. Three Blind Mice). Or no sort of scan at all. We have had samples of several varieties over the years.
Re: Lullaby (at least, I've tried)
Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 3:28 pm
by janSilipu
Tp metre is a bear, given all words are accent initial, so we can't reliably do iambs or dactyls or torches or sponges or any of those guys. May heap we go just for syllable counts like tanka and haiku or for stresses per line without count of unstressed (cf. Three Blind Mice). Or no sort of scan at all. We have had samples of several varieties over the years.
Re: Lullaby (at least, I've tried)
Posted: Mon May 13, 2013 2:31 pm
by janKalepa
jan_Anti wrote:pona. taso kulupu nimi pini tu li pona lili tawa mi.
musi li kepeken e nasin "-.-.-.-." "A mi LApe E jan LIli."
taso: "JAN liLI li LApe POna. MAma LI luKIN e Ona." "liLI" en "luKIN" li ike.
Last line variant:
ali o lon ala ona.
I've heard that 'lon ona" is for "wake up"