Toki. sitelen ni li sitelen e mi tawa sina

[janMato]

(recent edits in bold)

pali.
tan mi wile e mani la mi pali lon tomo pi jan lawa. mi pali mute. mi pali kepeken ilo pi nanpa mute pi sona mute. mi sitelen e toki pi ilo nanpa mute.

musi.
mi la kalama musi pi tenpo pini mute li pona.

mi la kin la jan "Emilie Autumn" li pona. Ona li jan pi kalama musi li pilin ike. Ona li pana e kalama musi pi pilin pimeja. mi pali la mi kute e kalama musi pi jan "Emilie Autumn".

musi pi sitelen kule pi sitelen tawa[
mi wile e ni: mi lukin e sitelen tawa. jan li nimi e ona. nimi ona li sitelen tawa "Avatar". sitelen tawa li jo e toki pi lon ala. ona li nimi e "Na'vi" tawa toki sin.

lape.
mi lape e ali sin pi sike suno. Mi lape e sike suno pi 8/24. soweli mi pi linja uta li lape sike suno pi 16/24. Mi lape e lili. Ona lape e mute.

moku.
mi moku ala e waso e akesi e kala e soweli e kijetesantakalu. Mi alasi ala e waso e akesi ... e kin mute. Mi lukin e waso e e akesi ... e kin mute. Mi moku e pan e kasi e telo e suwi e kili. Mi pali moku e kasi e pan.

mi moku e telo pi lape ala. suno kama ali la mi moku e telo pi lape ala. suno weka la mi moku ala e telo pi lape ala. suno weka la mi wile e lape.

mi jo e ilo pi telo pimjea pi lape ala. esun li esun e ona tawa mi la mi pana e mani mute tawa esun. mi la ilo pi telo pimjea pi lape ala li pona

nasin.
mi pilin e ni: jan sewi li lon ala. mi pilin e ni: nasin Juju li pona mute. Kin la, mi pilin e ni: nasin Puta li pona mute. kin la, mi pilin e ni: lipu mute "Tao of Pu" li pona mute. (taso mi la lipu mute
"Tao of Piglet" li pona ala.

unpa.
mi jan pi **kulupu insa. kulupa insa li toki ala e unpa.

**jan jo li sona mute li mani mute li pali kepeken lipu mute...la ....ona li kulupu insa.
jan li pali kepeken luka la ona li kulupa anpa
jan li pali kepeken lawa li jo e mani mute mute li jo e wawa la ona li kulupu sewi.

toki
mi wile e ni: mi sona e toki Wensa e toki pi toki pona e toki Isilan e toki Kansi. mi toki e lili kepeken toki Losi. toki mama mi li Inli.

ale en moli
mi pilin e ni: nimi "ale" li sona e ni : jan li jo e tenpo lon moli ala. ken la nimi "ala" li pona ike

mi wile e ni: mi li moli ala. mi wile e ni: mi li wile ale. *Using the same word for life/everything messes with my mind.

tenpo kama la mi wile e lon

sijelo
sijelo selo mi li walo. linja lawa mi li pimeja. oko mi li ike. Mi kepeken ilo pi oko ike.

jan li toki e toki Epanja. mute la jan mute li wile sona e ni: "cuántos anos tienes?" Mi ken toki e ni : mi jo e wan. Ken la, jan Epanja li jo e lupa monsi jaki mute anu ale?

----
Mi pilin e ni: tenpo kin la mi pana e nimi pi pakala mute. sina pona e ona la mi pilin pona tawa sina.

After proof reading, Matthew has realized that toki pona is easier to understand in the third person (more "li" particles to separate noun phrase from verb phrase) and he will from now on refer to himself in the third person until people throw kili jelo at him.

[jan Ote]

Too Many Capital Letters. Toki pona uses them only for "foreign" words.

Mi wile e ni: mi li moli ala. Mi wile e ni: mi li wile ale. *Using the same word for life/everything messes with my mind.

Our "life" is simply what we perceive; everything we see, hear, taste, smell, feel, dream, think of... is a part of our life. Then - my life is a sum of [my] everything. But I doubt if a VERB "to live" can be expressed just by "ale".

After proof reading, Matthew has realized that toki pona is easier to understand in the third person (more "li" particles to separate noun phrase from verb phrase) and he will from now on refer to himself in the third person until people throw kili jelo at him.

a! kili jelo li kama tawa sina...

[janKipo]

Pali.
tan mi wile e mani la mi pali lon tomo pi jan lawa. Mi pali mute. Mi pali kepeken ilo pi nanpa mute pi sona mute. Mi sitelen e toki pi ilo nanpa mute.

No subordinate clauses in tp of the "because I want..." sort. You need a separate sentence: ' mi wile e mani. tan ni la ..."
As jan Ote says, "Too many capital letters"
'ilo pi nanpa mute pi sona mute' is probably overspecification "device of many numbers of much knowledge." In most contexts, we get the point with just 'ilo sona' or some such (never mind about literal accuracy).

Musi.
tawa mi la kalama musi pi tenpo pini mute li pona. tawa mi la kin la jan "Emilie Autumn" li pona. Ona li jan pi kalama musi li pilin ike. Ona li pana e kalama musi pi pilin pimeja. mi pali la mi kute e kalama musi pi jan "Emilie Autumn".

The relation between the final prep, phrase and the initial 'la' slot has been discussed a bit, without anything being fixed. I tend to think of them as separate but loosely related in some cases. Here is a nice case: if you mean "I like ancient music" ("Ancient music is pleasing to me"), then ,kalama musi pi tenpo pini mute li pona tawa mi' seems right. But, if you mean the somewhat slightly different "In my opinion, ancient music is good," I would go with 'mi la kalama musi pi tenpo pini mute li pona.' And similarly for the rest. If the distinction makes any sense (or difference) at all.
I would have though 'taso' rather than 'kin la' since Emilie Autumn doesn't seem to me like ancient music -- or do you means (earlier on) that you like many songs of the (possibly recent) past?

Musi pi sitelen kule pi sitelen tawa[
Mi wile e ni: mi lukin e sitelen tawa. jan li nimi e ona. nimi ona li sitelen tawa "Avatar". sitelen tawa li jo e toki pi lon ala. ona li nimi e "Na'vi" tawa toki sin.

A name is not a movie: 'nimi ona li nimi "Avatar" [Apata]' Similarly 'ona li nimi e nimi "Na'vi"' (or just ' ona li toki Nawapi') (or some such tpization -- Lord knows what "Na'vi" is supposed to sound like). I have mixed anticipations about this -- check with me Thursday, when I may get to see it. I like the people in it and the basic idea, but the buzz is distinctly unfavorable about the realization.

Lape.
Mi lape e ali sin pi sike suno. Mi lape e sike suno pi 8/24. soweli mi pi linja uta li lape sike suno pi 16/24. Mi lape e lili. Ona lape e mute.

'sike suno' is "year" or some related notion, not "day," which is 'tenpo suno' (ambiguous, as usual, between 24 hours and daylight ). 'lape e x' means "puts x to sleep" I think you are shooting for "Every day, I sleep again" 'tenpo suno ali la mi lape sin' (at a guess). How to say "eight hours out of 24", or "one third of each day" or similar just goes beyond what tp can do with numbers at this point (the oldest and most persistent tp question, here raised in a new form), but I expect it goes into the 'la' slot when we figure out what it is. Ditto for your cat (where did you get such an active one?). So, also, lose the 'e' in the last two sentences.

Moku.
Mi moku ala e waso e akesi e kala e soweli e kijetesantakalu. Mi alasi ala e waso e akesi ... e kin mute. Mi lukin e waso e e akesi ... e kin mute. Mi moku e pan e kasi e telo e suwi e kili. Mi pali moku e kasi e pan.

The number of jan pi moku kasi taso is growing. Kinkajoos are said to be tough and rather vile, so we can skip them altogether. I like 'kin mute' for "etc."; another step in the development of that word and an answer to the a problem, which got by with 'en sama ante' before. 'pali moku' for "cook, prepare food" is nice too.

Mi moku e telo pi lape ala. Suno kama ali la mi moku e telo pi lape ala. Suno weka la mi moku ala e telo pi lape ala. Suno weka la mi wile e lape.

So probably not a religious vegetarian, since they tend to avoid caffeine (and sometimes theine and even theobromine). 'kama suno' "daybreak" not 'suno kama' "future light". Ditto, 'weka suno' ("sundown" -- maybe you want a broader time frame here).

Mi jo e ilo pi telo pimjea pi lape ala. esun li esun e ona tawa mi la mi pana e mani mute tawa esun. tawa mi la ilo pi telo pimjea pi lape ala li pona

I don't have a handle yet on how 'esun' works in the verb area, but this looks reasonable for the nonce. Usual note about the 'tawa... la' bit.

Nasin.
Mi pilin e ni: jan sewi li lon ala. Mi pilin e ni: nasin Juju li pona mute. Kin la, mi pilin e ni: nasin Puta li pona mute. Kin la, mi pilin e ni: lipu mute "Tao of Pu" li pona mute. (taso tawa mi la lipu mute
"Tao of Piglet" li pona ala.

'nasin' alone for "religion, philosophy" and the like, is probably pushing it a bit. OK here though (obviously). Is nasin JuJu , UU or Joojoo? The former seems more likely given the rest. "Teh of Piglet" - de is always harder than dao, since it seems possible to say something meaningful about it (though it turns out you can't either).

Unpa.
Mi jan pi **kulupu insa. Kulupa insa li toki ala e unpa.

**jan jo li sona mute li mani mute li pali kepeken lipu mute...la ....ona li kulupu insa.
jan li pali kepeken luka la ona li kulupa anpa
jan li pali kepeken lawa li jo e mani mute mute li jo e wawa la ona li kulupu sewi.

'jan li jo e sona mute e mani mute li pali kepeken...." Pretty clear distinction.

Toki
mi wile e ni: mi sona e toki Wensa e toki pi Toki pona e toki Isilan e toki Kansi. Mi toki lili e toki Losi. toki mama mi li Inli.

No cap on Toki -- not a foreign word.

Ale en moli
Mi pilin e ni: nimi "ale" li sona e ni : jan li jo e tenpo lon moli ala.

Mi wile e ni: mi li moli ala. Mi wile e ni: mi li wile ale. *Using the same word for life/everything messes with my mind.

What jan Ote says. Maybe 'lon'?

Sijelo
Sijelo selo mi li walo. Linja lawa mi li pimeja. Oko mi li ike. Mi kepeken ilo pi oko ike.

or 'ilo lukin'

jan li toki e toki Epanja. mute la jan mute li wile sona e ni: "cuántos anos tienes?" Mi ken toki e ni : mi jo e wan. Ken la, jan Epanja li jo e lupa mute anu ale?

maybe 'tenpo mute' "often" (but there are problems!) 'lupa'?

Mi pilin e ni: tenpo kin la mi pana e nimi pakala mute. sina pona e ona la mi pilin pona tawa sina.

or 'nimi pi pakala mute' but actually not all that bad and not that many either.

After proof reading, Matthew has realized that toki pona is easier to understand in the third person (more "li" particles to separate noun phrase from verb phrase) and he will from now on refer to himself in the third person until people throw kili jelo at him.

What jan Ote says.

[jan Josan]

Toki
mi wile e ni: mi sona e toki Wensa e toki pi Toki pona e toki Isilan e toki Kansi. Mi toki lili e toki Losi. toki mama mi li Inli.

It may be more a style issue than hard and fast grammar, but I usually see "mi toki lili kepeken toki Losi."

sina nime e sina kepeken nimi ona la, mi pana e kiwi kin.

[janKipo]

taso kili Kiwi li jelo ala.

Yes, 'toki kepeken toki Losi' - the thing after 'e' is the actual message, not the language it is spoken in. Nice catch.