jan Kikamesi. utala pi jan Kunpapa

[jan Ote]

jan Kikamesi. utala e jan Kunpapa

jan Kikamesi li jan lawa pi ma tomo Uluku. jan Enkitu li kama tan ma soweli. jan Enkitu li jan pona tawa jan Kikamesi. ona li jan sama. ona li wawa mute.

wile wawa
jan Enkitu li toki ala. ona li pilin ike li pana e telo oko. jan Kikamesi li lukin e ona li toki e ni: "jan sama o, sina pilin ike tan seme?". jan Enkitu li open e uta ona li toki e ni: "luka mi li kama wawa ala. wawa mi li kama lili". jan Kikamesi li toki tawa ona li toki e ni: "o kama! o mi kama tawa nena pi kasi suli. nena ni li weka tan ni. ona li lon tawa nasin pi anpa suno. kasi suli mute li lon ma ni. palisa pi kasi ni li sewi li kiwen. kasi suli sama li ala lon ma mi. mi wile pali e palisa pi tomo suli sewi lon ma tomo Uluku. mi wile ken pali tomo tawa. kasi suli li pona tawa pali ni. taso jan Kunpapa li lon nena pi kasi suli. jan li kama tawa kasi suli ni li wile pakala e ona li wile kama jo e ona la jan Kunpapa li utala e ona li moli e ona. jan Kunpapa li ike li wawa mute. o tawa sewi nena! o kama! sina en mi li utala e ona, li anpa e ona, li moli e ona!"

[jan-ante]

jan Kikamesi. utala e jan Kunpapa

may be: jan sama tu li unata e jan H. just "utala e jan Kunpapa" looks odd because of lack of subject. also consider the version "Huwawa" (akkadian spelling, perhaps). may be Kuwawa or Uwawa, it resembles "wawa" implying that he was strong and terrible.

jan Enkitu li kama tan ma soweli.

tan ma nena?

o mi kama tawa nena pi kasi suli

mi o kama ....

ona li lon tawa nasin pi anpa suno

also consider: nasin pi anpa suno li nasin tawa ona

mi wile ken pali tomo tawa

mi wile e ken pali pi tmtw - i want the ability to make a charriot

[janKipo]

jan Kikamesi. utala e jan Kunpapa

jan Kikamesi li jan lawa pi ma tomo Uluku. jan Enkitu li kama tan ma soweli. jan Enkitu li jan pona tawa jan Kikamesi. ona li jan sama. ona li wawa mute.

wile wawa
jan Enkitu li toki ala. ona li pilin ike li pana e telo oko. jan Kikamesi li lukin e ona li toki e ni: "jan sama o, sina pilin ike tan seme?". jan Enkitu li open e uta ona li toki e ni: "luka mi li kama wawa ala. wawa mi li kama lili". jan Kikamesi li toki tawa ona li toki e ni: "o kama! o mi kama tawa nena pi kasi suli.

Some place around here we worked out that 'kama' is not like 'tawa' and so needs a prep to indicate destination.

nena ni li weka tan ni. ona li lon tawa nasin pi anpa suno.

"It is on the path toward the setting sun" I suppose. I think the 'tawa' can be left out, buried in the ambiguity of 'pi'

kasi suli mute li lon ma ni. palisa pi kasi ni li sewi li kiwen. kasi suli sama li ala lon ma mi.

'lon ala'

mi wile pali e palisa pi tomo suli sewi lon ma tomo Uluku.

"I want to make a shaft of high big structure" I just don't get it.

mi wile ken pali E tomo tawa. kasi suli li pona tawa pali ni. taso jan Kunpapa li lon nena pi kasi suli. jan li kama tawa kasi suli ni li wile pakala e ona li wile kama jo e ona la jan Kunpapa li utala e ona li moli e ona. jan Kunpapa li ike li wawa mute. o tawa sewi nena! o kama! sina en mi li utala e ona, li anpa e ona, li moli e ona!"

'nena sewi'

[jan Ote]

jan Kikamesi. utala e jan Kunpapa

may be: jan sama tu li unata e jan H. just "utala e jan Kunpapa" looks odd because of lack of subject.

For short titles nouns are better than sentences "A fight with..." (utala tawa???)

also consider the version "Huwawa" (akkadian spelling, perhaps). may be Kuwawa or Uwawa, it resembles "wawa" implying that he was strong and terrible.

I'd like to use more Sumerian names ('jan sewi Utu' instead of 'jan sewi Samasi'), but this 'wawa' is a very good idea.

tan ma nena?
o mi kama tawa nena pi kasi suli
mi o kama ....

Right.

also consider: nasin pi anpa suno li nasin tawa ona

Interesting.

mi wile ken pali tomo tawa

mi wile e ken pali pi tmtw - i want the ability to make a charriot

But one can say: 'I want to be able to make...' (RU: 'хочу мочь cдeлaть'; PL: 'chcę móc zrobić').
I should change 'tomo tawa' to 'tomo tawa telo'. Ships are more important for the city and need really big trunks.

'kama' is not like 'tawa' and so needs a prep to indicate destination.

'kama' is not like 'tawa', but I doubt whether it always needs a preposition. If we do indicate destination then we have to use 'li kama tawa tomo' (not: 'li kama tomo'; but 'li tawa tomo', not 'li tawa tawa tomo'). But if we do not indicate destination, then we can stop at 'kama', I think.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toki_Pona#Sample_texts:
ma sina o kama.
jan li toki e ni: "o kama! mi mute o pali e kiwen.
http://bknight0.myweb.uga.edu/toki/lesson/lesson9.html:
kama pona! -- Come well! Welcome!
http://en.tokipona.org/wiki/Toki_Pona_proverbs:
ante li kama. -- Change comes.
But doubt if I've used the proper word. Instead of 'o kama!' (Let us come?) I should use 'o tawa!' ([Let's] go!) I suppose.

mi wile pali e palisa pi tomo suli sewi lon ma tomo Uluku.

"I want to make a shaft of high big structure" I just don't get it.

To make columns, long, vertical, palisa elements of a building.

[janKipo]

jan Kikamesi. utala e jan Kunpapa

may be: jan sama tu li unata e jan H. just "utala e jan Kunpapa" looks odd because of lack of subject.

For short titles nouns are better than sentences "A fight with..." (utala tawa???)

Probably 'utala pi' would work - the connection is ambiguous to cover most possible relations

also consider the version "Huwawa" (akkadian spelling, perhaps). may be Kuwawa or Uwawa, it resembles "wawa" implying that he was strong and terrible.

I'd like to use more Sumerian names ('jan sewi Utu' instead of 'jan sewi Samasi'), but this 'wawa' is a very good idea.

tan ma nena?
o mi kama tawa nena pi kasi suli
mi o kama ....

Right.

Why? " Oh me, come..." is just odd. 'o mi kama' "Let me/ may I come" (or however you want optatives to go. 'mi o kama' is 'mi o o kama' a vocative followed by an imperative.)

mi wile ken pali tomo tawa

mi wile e ken pali pi tmtw - i want the ability to make a charriot

But one can say: 'I want to be able to make...' (RU: 'хочу мочь cдeлaть'; PL: 'chcę móc zrobić').
I should change 'tomo tawa' to 'tomo tawa telo'. Ships are more important for the city and need really big trunks.

'ken pali e tomo tawa.' Is Uluku a coastal city? I suppose it is on one of the rivers, but neither of them could handle really big boats (nor was technology up to it yet),

'kama' is not like 'tawa' and so needs a prep to indicate destination.

'kama' is not like 'tawa', but I doubt whether it always needs a preposition. If we do indicate destination then we have to use 'li kama tawa tomo' (not: 'li kama tomo'; but 'li tawa tomo', not 'li tawa tawa tomo'). But if we do not indicate destination, then we can stop at 'kama', I think.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toki_Pona#Sample_texts:
ma sina o kama.
jan li toki e ni: "o kama! mi mute o pali e kiwen.
http://bknight0.myweb.uga.edu/toki/lesson/lesson9.html:
kama pona! -- Come well! Welcome!
http://en.tokipona.org/wiki/Toki_Pona_proverbs:
ante li kama. -- Change comes.
But doubt if I've used the proper word. Instead of 'o kama!' (Let us come?) I should use 'o tawa!' ([Let's] go!) I suppose.

Sorry, I took 'tawa' for a prep, not a verb (and misread the point of the comment). "May I come to go to..." is poetic and a way of making a clear future tense, but probably not needed at this point -- things exhorted or commanded are necessarily in the future.
Sure, you can put anything after 'kama' and have it make sense:"become" as well as "come", and adverbs of various sorts (like' pona' in 'o kama pona')and so on; its only for the destination that you need a preposition (well, and for other things that preps do for all verbs).

mi wile pali e palisa pi tomo suli sewi lon ma tomo Uluku.

"I want to make a shaft of high big structure" I just don't get it.

To make columns, long, vertical, palisa elements of a building.

Ahah. I got off on the 'tomo tawa' in the next sentence and forgot this one. Maybe putting at least one of the modifiers next to the head helps (as it is it might be a big high building -- as I suppose it will be in any case, come to think of it). ' 'palisa sewi pi tomo suli' or some such - aesthetics.

[jan-ante]

I'd like to use more Sumerian names

well, according to english wikipedia, Humbaba is assyrian spelling. i know it is not the best pana sona, but nethertheless.. russian wikipedia claims that Gilgamesh is akkadian name.

But one can say: 'I want to be able to make...' (RU: 'хочу мочь cдeлaть'; PL: 'chcę móc zrobić').

grammatically it is ol korekt, but the complex verb of 3 words is a bit too complex, you can split it.

[jan Ote]

janKipo, Uruk was on Euphrates, 20-25km from Ur, then port city on the coast. But not only small rafts were used on the rivers. Shuruppak was even farther from the Gulf than Uruk, but this is the place of Sumerian Great Flood story (huge boat, ark).
Anyway, it would be better to ommit the purpose of trunks. Gilgamesh wants to defeat Huwawa for glory. Finally, in Cedar Forest, it was Enkidu who decided what to do with these trees.


jan Kikamesi. utala pi jan Kuwawa

jan Kikamesi li jan lawa pi ma tomo Uluku. jan Enkitu li kama tan ma nena. jan Enkitu li jan pona tawa jan Kikamesi. ona li jan sama. ona li wawa mute.

wile wawa
jan Enkitu li toki ala. ona li pilin ike li pana e telo oko. jan Kikamesi li lukin e ona li toki e ni: "jan sama o, sina pilin ike tan seme?". jan Enkitu li open e uta ona li toki e ni: "luka mi li kama wawa ala. wawa mi li kama lili". jan Kikamesi li toki tawa ona li toki e ni: "o tawa! mi tu o tawa nena pi kasi suli. nena ni li weka tan ni. ona li lon tawa nasin pi anpa suno. kasi suli mute li lon ma ni. palisa pi kasi ni li sewi li kiwen. kasi suli sama li lon ala ma mi. [two sentences removed] taso jan Kuwawa li lon nena pi kasi suli. jan li kama tawa kasi suli ni li wile pakala e ona li wile kama jo e ona la jan Kuwawa li utala e ona li moli e ona. jan Kuwawa li ike li wawa mute. mi wile e ni: jan ike li lon ala ma. o tawa nena sewi! sina en mi li utala e ona, li anpa e ona, li moli e ona!"

Why 'tawa nena sewi' not 'tawa sewi nena'? Because I would like to express not "go to the high mountain', but 'to climb a mountain'.

ona li tawa sewi kiwen. -- She's going up the rock.
Note that sewi as used in this sentence is a noun. A more literal translation of that sentence is "She's going to the top (of) the rock."

[jan Ote]

Next part:

wile pi nimi suli
jan Enkitu li toki e ni: "jan sama o, jan sewi li wile e ni: jan Kuwawa li lon ma kasi ni. jan sewi An wile e ni: jan Kuwawa li moli e jan. soweli li tawa lon ma kasi la jan Kuwawa li ken kute kalama weka. jan seme ken kama tawa ma kasi ni? kalama uta pi jan Kuwawa li sama kalama pi telo suli wawa. uta ona li sama seli. kon pi uta ona li sama moli. sina wile utala e jan ni tan seme? mi tu li wawa sama ala jan ni. mi ken ala anpa e ona."

jan Kikamesi li toki tawa jan Enkitu li toki e ni: "jan pona mi o, jan seme ken tawa sewi kon sewi? jan sewi taso li moli ala. tenpo suno mute pi jan ante li kama pini. jan li moli. jan li pali ijo. taso ijo ali ni li sama kon. tenpo ni la sina pilin ike tan ni: sina ken moli. sina wawa li lon seme? pona. mi lawa e sina. tenpo pi tawa mi li kama la sina li toki e ni tawa mi: «o tawa, o pilin ike ala!». jan ike ni li anpa e mi li moli e mi la jan mute li toki e ni: »jan Kikamesi li utala e jan wawa Kuwawa li anpa li moli«. tenpo kama la jan lili mi li toki e ni: «jan Kikamesi li utala e jan wawa Kuwawa». tenpo suli kama la jan li toki e ni: «jan Kikamesi li utala e jan wawa Kuwawa lon nena pi kasi suli li moli utala». nimi mi li kama suli".

[janKipo]

Next part:

wile pi nimi suli
jan Enkitu li toki e ni: "jan sama o, jan sewi li wile e ni: jan Kuwawa li lon ma kasi ni. jan sewi An wile e ni: jan Kuwawa li moli e jan. soweli li tawa lon ma kasi la jan Kuwawa li ken kute kalama weka. jan seme LI ken kama tawa ma kasi ni? kalama uta pi jan Kuwawa li sama kalama pi telo suli wawa. uta ona li sama seli. kon pi uta ona li sama moli. sina wile utala e jan ni tan seme? mi tu li wawa sama ala jan ni. mi ken ala anpa e ona."

jan Kikamesi li toki tawa jan Enkitu li toki e ni: "jan pona mi o, jan seme LI ken tawa sewi kon sewi? jan sewi taso li moli ala. tenpo suno mute pi jan ante li kama pini. jan li moli. jan li pali E ijo. taso ijo ali ni li sama kon. tenpo ni la sina pilin ike tan ni: sina ken moli. sina wawa li lon seme? pona. mi lawa e sina. tenpo pi tawa mi li kama la sina li toki e ni tawa mi: «o tawa, o pilin ike ala!». jan ike ni li anpa e mi li moli e mi la jan mute li toki e ni: »jan Kikamesi li utala e jan wawa Kuwawa li anpa li moli«. tenpo kama la jan lili mi li toki e ni: «jan Kikamesi li utala e jan wawa Kuwawa». tenpo suli kama la jan li toki e ni: «jan Kikamesi li utala e jan wawa Kuwawa lon nena pi kasi suli li moli utala». nimi mi li kama suli".

Otherwise fine. But what does 'sina wawa li lon seme ? pona.' purport?

[jan Ote]

what does 'sina wawa li lon seme ? pona.' purport?

sina wawa li lon seme? -- pona. mi lawa e sina.
"Where is your strenght? [if you are feeeling weak, if afraid]... Alright [then]. I will lead you. I will go in front"
In next sentences Gilgamesh says "if I fall in fight... then my name...", not using a single word suggesting that he expects from Enkitu to fight by his side (maybe, to the bitter end). "Just go with me". But of course they both know...

It is not clear now, but I don't know how to fix it.