tenpo pimeja sewi o!

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janKulisa
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:51 pm

tenpo pimeja sewi o!

Post by janKulisa »

tenpo pimeja sewi o! mun ali li suno mute.
tenpo ni la jan Jesu li kama lon.
tan pali ike la jan ali li ike pilin.
taso ona li kama. pona li kama tawa jan.
pilin jan li kama pona mute
tan ni: tenpo suno li kama sin!

o kama! o kama anpa! o kute e kalama sewi!
a! tenpo ni li sewi. jan Jesu li tawa ni.
a! tenpo ni li sewi jan Jesu li lon ni.


mi mute li tawa supa lape pi jan Jesu.
pilin pona mi li suno sama mun.
tenpo pini la jan sona li tawa sama
tan ma ante tawa suno pi mun wan.
jan lawa pi ma ali li lape lon ni.
tenpo ali la ona li jan pona mi.

ona li sona e ni: mi mute li wawa ala.
o lukin e ni: jan lawa sina li lon ni!
o lukin e ni: jan pona sina li lon ni!


ona li pana e sona tawa mi mute.
olin li nasin ni. utala ala li sona ni.
ona li pakala e linja kiwen ike!
jan pi jo ala li jan sama pi jan jo!
tan la mi wile toki e kalama musi.
jan ali o kalama lon poka mi!

ona li jan sewi! o toki e pona tawa ona!
o toki pi wawa en olin pi jan Jesu!
o toki pi wawa en olin pi jan Jesu!

-----

I know this is singable (as much as "O Holy Night" ever is), as I've sung it several times, though it does take some adjustment, and the syllable stress doesn't always line up. Any suggestions on improving the grammar or meaning are welcome, but they can't be too long-winded to reasonably fit in the tune. The translation is fairly loose: I didn't have words for things like "hope" "slave" "oppression", and such, so I approximated them as well as I could. For those who would pick on the theology of "jan Jesu li kama lon", well, remember that "lon" means to be present in a place, as well as to exist. I'm not fully satisfied with the last three lines, so any suggestions for improving them would be especially welcome!

[Edit: corrected typo]
Last edited by janKulisa on Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
sike lawa ni
li ike tawa mi
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jan_Lope
Posts: 294
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 1:30 pm
Location: mi lon ma tomo Pelin.
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Re: tenpo pimeja sewi o!

Post by jan_Lope »

mi mute li tawa supe lape pi jan Jesu.
Typo error (supa):
mi mute li tawa supa lape pi jan Jesu.
tenpo pini la jan sona li tawa sama tan ma ante tawa suno pi mun wan.
I have a problem with this sentences:
"In the past the knower moved similar from an other country to the sun of the one moon. "

PS: I've checked the grammar with my script: http://rowa.giso.de/languages/toki-pona/dcg/
pona!
jan Lope
https://jan-lope.github.io
(Lessons and the Toki Pona Parser - A tool for spelling, grammar check and ambiguity check of Toki Pona)

On my foe list are the sockpuppets janKipo and janSilipu because of permanent spamming.
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jan Alanto
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:18 pm

Re: tenpo pimeja sewi o!

Post by jan Alanto »

jan_Lope wrote: I have a problem with this sentences:
"In the past the knower moved similar from an other country to the sun of the one moon. "
the knower = the sage kings
similar = similarly as mi mute did in the previous verses
suno pi mun wan = shine of one star.
janKulisa
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:51 pm

Re: tenpo pimeja sewi o!

Post by janKulisa »

jan Alanto wrote:
jan_Lope wrote: I have a problem with this sentences:
"In the past the knower moved similar from an other country to the sun of the one moon. "
the knower = the sage kings
similar = similarly as mi mute did in the previous verses
suno pi mun wan = shine of one star.
Exactly! :-)

In time past, wise men went likewise
from another country toward the light of one star.

Corrected aforementioned "supa" typo.
sike lawa ni
li ike tawa mi
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