musi luka tu pi jan Katulu

[Mako]

musi nanpa pi luka tu pi jan Katulu

sina wile sona e ni:
nanpa seme pi pilin uta sina li pona kin tawa mi?
ni li nanpa pona:
nanpa li nanpa suli pi ko ma ni.
ni li ko ma pi ma Lipija;
ni li ko ma pi ma tomo Kiwene pi kasi moli pi jan sin;
ni li ko ma lon poka e tomo toki pi jan sewi Jowe
en lon poka e tomo moli pi jan Patu pi sin ala.
nanpa ni li nanpa suli pi mun lili mute.
pimeja li kama la mun li lukin e olin jan pi lukin ala.
nanpa ni pi pilin uta li pona kin tawa mi pi sona ala.
jan pi wile sona li ken ala nanpa e pilin uta.
ilo toki uta ike li ken ala toki ike e pilin uta.


Translation:
You want to know this:
What number of your kisses are also good for me?
This is a good number:
The number is the great number of this sand
These are the sands of Libya.
These are the sands of contraceptive-bearing Cyrene
These are the sands between the oracle of Jupiter
and the tomb of old Battus.
This number is the great number of the stars.
Night comes, and the moon sees the secret loves of man.
This number of kisses is also good for ignorant me
The curious cannot number the kisses.
No evil tongue can slander the kisses.

[janKipo]

musi nanpa luka tu The seventh ode (? I stopped off at Cicero) , you promised seven odes.
"kisses" can't be easy somehow., just mouth made me think (some reference to rotten teeth in some Latin poet) of teeth. Maybe 'pilin uta' "touch mouth" or even 'pilin pi loje uta' "touch lips"
'en' is suspect in the verb slot, it applies only to mixtures -- which is arguably what this is. "more than" is "impossible" in tp (i.e., no one has figured out a good way to do it) 'mute pona' might be clearer for "enough" given all the things 'pona' can mean. Yours might just mean "How many do I like" which is weaker than intended.
nanpa li mute pi ko... might be enough and skip the redundancy. or are you trying to use 'mute' as "more than" throughout here? I don't know my plants, but how is the plant with the little peak asafoetida (what does the phrase mean, anyhow). What does 'lon ma tomo Kulene' attach to: 'ma Lipija' 'ko ma' or 'nanpa mute'? punctuation only works (for me) on the last of these, but that doesn't much sense , unless you have Libija and Kulene interchanged. This could probably use some reworking -- as the length suggests, too. [is this 'apud' by any chance? It always gave me the willies]
'lon poka pi' 'lon poka e X' means "place X near/ on its side" I guess I like 'lon toki' better than 'ma toki' because it gives a particular address, as it were (I don't know what was there, but probably a temple of sorts, so 'tomo toki' might work, too) similarly 'tomo moli' works better for me for tomb.
'pimeja li kama' (pimeja li tawa' means 'suno pi kama')
probably 'lukin ala' "unseen" 'open ala' is more like the unstarted, but that is all a rather misty area, where little has been done yet.
don't need the 'pi' between 'ken ala' and 'toki ike'. How to say "about" is still in conflict, no decision -- but this is one contender/

[Mako]

nanpa li mute pi ko... might be enough and skip the redundancy. or are you trying to use 'mute' as "more than" throughout here? I don't know my plants, but how is the plant with the little peak asafoetida (what does the phrase mean, anyhow).

'plant of the little end' – referring to its use as an abortifacient.

What does 'lon ma tomo Kulene' attach to: 'ma Lipija' 'ko ma' or 'nanpa mute'? punctuation only works (for me) on the last of these, but that doesn't much sense , unless you have Libija and Kulene interchanged. This could probably use some reworking -- as the length suggests, too. [is this 'apud' by any chance? It always gave me the willies]

No, it isn't 'apud'.

'lon poka pi' 'lon poka e X' means "place X near/ on its side" I guess I like 'lon toki' better than 'ma toki' because it gives a particular address, as it were (I don't know what was there, but probably a temple of sorts, so 'tomo toki' might work, too) similarly 'tomo moli' works better for me for tomb.
'pimeja li kama' (pimeja li tawa' means 'suno pi kama')
probably 'lukin ala' "unseen" 'open ala' is more like the unstarted, but that is all a rather misty area, where little has been done yet.

Maybe, but another 'lukin' will create a repetition and contrast

[janKipo]

Ah so. The end of the littles, not the little ends. I probably would have used pini pi jan lili, but then maybe not. I didn't know that about asafoetida, which I know only as a particularly vile smelling herb that gives a pleasant taste to things.
So, not 'apud', but what then is it supposed to mean.
I think we are hassling 'li ni' on another thread, but that is the transitive form; this one doesn't bother me at all. Though I suppose I would have said 'ni li ko ma', which is more conventional.
"between" continues to be a problem, you only get them being beside each, not between them./
On some other forum I have changed my mind about 'uta' and "kiss" to think they can be the same.

[Mako]

Ah so. The end of the littles, not the little ends. I probably would have used pini pi jan lili, but then maybe not. I didn't know that about asafoetida, which I know only as a particularly vile smelling herb that gives a pleasant taste to things.

It is a delicacy, but here it is also a reference to ancient methods of contraception (especially if your paramour is married).

Though I suppose I would have said 'ni li ko ma', which is more conventional.

Well, I have a theory about A li B statements which I should discuss in another forum.

"between" continues to be a problem, you only get them being beside each, not between them./
On some other forum I have changed my mind about 'uta' and "kiss" to think they can be the same.

I have changed the 'lon poka' phrases, but even so, this is poetic geography - it doesn't have to be scientifically accurate.