Thank you both for your feedback on this!
I use both the English Douay-Rheims translation and the Latin Vulgate when translating. Using 'ante la' is actually going against both, as they have 'for' and 'enim' (for, namely) respectively. I thought it would be clear to say 'on the contrary' to 'nobodys' statement, but expanding the sentence to include 'tan ni' is probably clearer and better.
Thus removing the 'ante la', my question regarding stacking la-clauses is no longer relevant. I know that 'lon tenpo pini' at the end of the sentence can become 'tenpo pini la' at the beginning of it, but I was unsure if something like 'ante la tenpo pini la...' would be appropriate?
I'll stick with 'kin' for the time being at least, and 'ali' rather than 'ale', to reduce the chances of me mixing it with 'ala'. I can't explain well why I think 'kin' fits after 'tawa weka', but perhaps it's the fact that putting the stress there, focuses on the passing of the action rather than of the time, which is more obscure or theoretical, if that makes sense.
I didn't know that comma rule with 'la' (or perhaps I had forgotten it). I'll remember it from now!
So what I have now is:
ala li sin lon anpa suno. jan ala li ken toki e ni: 'o lukin, ni li sin a!' tan ni: ali li kama li tawa weka kin lon tenpo pini.
Thus keeping 'kin' in that spot for a somewhat esthetical reason, and 'tenpo pini' at the end since I don't see a good reason to move it forward into the spotlight. Focusing on 'ali' works a bit better in my eyes. If you still disagree, I'll change it. You two know the language far better than me
But wait a min... Now I have both '...e ni: ... tan ni: ...' within the same sentence. Does that work? Or could it now be taken that 'tan ni' refers to the reason behind 'nobody's statement?
Could I drop 'e ni'? I sometimes see just 'toki' in front of a quote, instead of 'toki e ni'. What is the actual difference? When translation from tp I'd say that 'e ni:' leads to an indirect quote, whereas 'toki:' introduces a direct quote, as in
'ona li toki e ni: '...'' - he said that ...
'ona li toki: '...'' - he said '...'
But I could of course be wrong. And how a tp - english translation would work is not necessarily relevant here.
ala li sin lon anpa suno. jan ala li ken toki e ni: 'o lukin! ni li sin a!' tan ni: ale li kama li tawa weka lon tenpo pini.- Eccl. 1.10