Very nice. A fitting addition to Two Dragons. So mainly comments, with a few criticisms.
jan_endy wrote: "nasin suli pi jan Melin".
Surprise to find "curses" "career" where usually have "story""historian" 'toki' or "deeds" "acts""gesta" 'pali' Nice.
kon PI wawa mute
taso ona li pilin taso li wile jo e jan lili.
I know that 'pilin x' for "feel x" is totally locked in but it still seems wrong to me and that the 'pona lukin' model should be used consistently . Not to mention the ambiguity involved.
ona li alasa e mama meli pi jan lili ona kama
I think the standard order is 'jan lili kama ona', as in English
tawa monsi PI meli tu
meli li pilin ike tan ni. ona li tawa tomo pi jan sona mute. jan sona li lukin e kon ike li toki e ni tawa meli tu:
"tenpo mun ali la sina poki e sama lon tomo lape sina. sina seli e palisa suno lon monsi lupa. ni li pini e kon ike
better 'tan ni la' because connection is to a previously mentioned cause. At the end it appears to point right, to a following cause, even without the colon.
jan pi sona mute
tenpo min ali la could be either "every month" or "all month" and the rules for distinguishing are not clear.
A case of six of one, ... you say sticks that light, I think light in stick form and it doesn't seem to make a difference.
This is the "stop" for which Sonja once proposed 'pake', 'pini' is a bit strong here since the evil spirit continues to exist. I' not sure how to say it except paraphrase around 'tan ni la kon ike li Kama ala.' say
Why 'meli sin' rather than 'meli ante', she is not the same one again, nor a new one nor the younger one?
jan ali li sona e ni: seme li kama lon tomo lape?
This not really a question but an indirect description, 'Kama pi lon tomo lape' but the pull of English is strong here.
taso tenpo suno la meli ni li pilin ike. ona li toki e ni:
"a. pakala. tenpo mun la mi pilin e sitelen lape ike. insa mi li nena pi jan lili tan sitelen lape ike. mi apeja mute."
"on a month" doesn't give the sort of context one expects here. Maybe 'tenpo mun ni" "during this month" or with 'pini' "last".
'apeja' is a proposed word I do NOT miss.
tempo mun la jan lili monsuta li kama tan insa meli. ona li ike lukin mute. linja mute li lon sijelo ali ona. noka en lawa pi jan lili li sama e noka en lawa pi soweli
Again, 'tempo mun' doesn't say much, maybe 'tenpo mun luka tu tu pini la'
No 'e', it is a preposition. and no 'pi' which needs two following words ( more elsewhere).
meli li toki e ni tawa sewi:
"kon pona pi kasi en soweli o. mi toki e nimi sina. o kama pona lukin e jan lili mi."
Really nice use of a causative
ona li telo oko mute. telo ni li telo e lawa pi jan lili.
tenpo ni la linja ali li tawa. noka soweli li tawa. lawa soweli li tawa. jan lili li pona lukin
The convention would have 'pana e telo oko', but I don't see why this doesn't work as well
'weka' for 'tawa', the stuff doesn't, it just disappears, goes away (not necessarily to somewhere else, as 'tawa' would have it).
meli li pilin pona mute. ona li toki ni tawa jan lili:
"sina jan lili pi pona en ike. nimi sina li jan Melin. "
nimi pi jan lili li jan ala li nimi kin. tan ni la o toki e ni: sina jan Melin anu nimi sina li nimi 'Melin'