Psalms 23 translated

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Lingva lernado: Kiel paroli Tokiponon, tradukproblemoj, konsiloj, memoraj helpiloj, iloj kaj metodoj por pli rapide lerni Tokiponon kaj aliajn lingvojn
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Pije
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:54 pm

Psalms 23 translated

Post by Pije »

A proposed translation of Psalms 23 is below. I may eventually post it on my website. I'm posting it here in case anyone has comments or suggestions for improvement.

Below the order is:
New Living Translation
Toki Pona translation
Loose translation back into English
Comments, if any

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
jan sewi li lawa e mi sama soweli. mi wile ala.
God leads me like an animal. I want nothing.

He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.
ona li kama e ni: mi lape lon ma laso. ona li lawa e mi poka telo pi kalama ala.
He causes me to rest in blue fields. He leads me beside the the quiet waters.
Does anyone else think it would be acceptable to just write, "ona li lape e mi lon laso," i.e. to use lape as a transitive verb?

He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
ona li sin e kon mi. ona li lawa e mi lon nasin pona; ni li pona tawa nimi ona.
He refreshes my soul. He leads me on the good paths; this is good for his name.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
mi lon ma anpa pimeja la mi pilin ala monsuta tan ni: sina poka mi. palisa sina li kama e ni: ala li ken pakala e mi.
When I am in the dark low lands, I don't feel fearful because of this: You are beside me. Your staff causes this: Nothing can destroy me.

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.
sina pali e moku mute tawa mi. jan ike mi ali li ken lukin e mi. mi jan pona sina. telo mute li lon poki mi.
You make a bunch of food for me. All my enemies can see me. I am your friend. Much drink is in my cup.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.
tenpo suni mi ali la pona sina en olin sina li alasa e mi. tenpo ali la mi lon tomo pi jan sewi.
For all my days, your goodness and your love will hunt me. Forever I will be in the house of God.
janMato
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Re: Psalms 23 translated

Post by janMato »

jan sewi li lawa e mi sama soweli. mi wile ala.
(sounds like you don't want to be lead around like an animal)

ona li kama e ni: mi lape lon ma laso. ona li lawa e mi poka telo pi kalama ala.
ona li sin e kon mi. ona li lawa e mi lon nasin pona; ni li pona [tawa nimi ona].

[tawa nimi ona] ==?? mumbo jumbo, okay if you intended it to be so, otherwise, you're calquing mumbo jumbo.

mi lon ma anpa pimeja la mi pilin ala monsuta tan ni: sina poka mi. palisa sina li kama e ni: ala li ken pakala e mi.
(God gave him the stick? Implies he feels safe because he has a stick. Hopefully not a bang stick-- I'm fed up with gun nuts for the day)

sina pali e moku mute tawa mi. jan ike mi ali li ken lukin e mi. mi jan pona sina. telo mute li lon poki mi.
tenpo suno mi ali la pona sina en olin sina li alasa e mi. tenpo ali la mi lon tomo pi jan sewi.
(suno - spelling error) His goodness and love is hunting you-- which sounds rather old-testamenty and scary. If you are a sentient plant, then you are being gathered or harvested. I'd have to look & see if we have a critical mass of people using this as search, find or something more neutral.

This is actually a fairly good translation, I understood everything on 1st read.
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