jan pi sona oko

[aikidave]

tenpo mun kama la mi wile jo e lipu sin pi ken lawa pi tomo tawa mi.
mi pilin ike tan ni: lukin mi li kama ike.
mi lukin e lipu toki kepeken ilo oko.
tenpo suno ni la mi tawa jan pi sona oko.
jan li kama sona e ni: mi lukin seme.
mi ken lukin mute weka.
mi ken ala lukin mute lili.
jan pi sona oko li pana e telo lon oko mi.
insa pi oko mi li suli.
jan li lukin e oko mi.
jan li lukin insa lawa mi kepeken ilo suno.
oko mi li lupa lon lawa mi.
jan li toki ni: oko mi li pona.
mi ken kin lukin e meli pi pona lukin.

Comments / corrections please. English translation follows:

Next month I must renew my drivers license.
I was worried about the eye test.
I am using glasses to read.
Today I went to the eye doctor.
He checked my vision.
I can see distance well.
I cannot see close things well.
He put drops in my eye.
The inside of my eyes became large.
The doctor looked at my eyes.
He looked inside my head using a flashlight.
My eyes are holes into my head.
The doctor said my eyes are healthy.
I can still see pretty girls.

Thanks,

[janMato]

Perfectly clear on first read, as usual.

tenpo suno ni la mi tawa jan pi sona oko.
jan li kama sona e ni: mi lukin seme.

Hyper technically, jan is the indef pronoun in this case. They/one will come to know this....
Repeating the referent is okay (and sometimes better, imho, compared to ona), but sometimes people read the repeat as a new "jan"
So depending on tastes, jan should be, jan ni or ona.

[jan Josan]

It's always a pleasure akidave, how lucid your texts are, and enjoyable to see how you are developing a very personal style of tp.

[jan Ote]

jan li toki ni: oko mi li pona.

jan li toki e ni: oko mi li pona.

mi ken lukin mute weka.
mi ken ala lukin mute lili.

I can see distance well.
I cannot see close things well.

"mute" here is not obvious. Maybe using a direct object is a better solution?

mi ken lukin pona e ijo weka.
I am able to see well distant things.
mi ken ala lukin pona e ijo lili.
I am not able to see well small things.

Or even:

mi lukin pona e ijo weka.
I see well distant things.
mi lukin pona ala e ijo lili.
I see not-well small things.

[janKipo]

The "see - can see' non-contrast is as old as Aristotle and marks off (in languages of a certain sort, including English and Greek) a particular class of verbs of perception. I suspect tat tp can do with just one of these -- the simple verb -- saving the the complex for real cases of ability. Orf course, eye tests are hard to fit into this decision easily, since they are tests of ability and yet involve actually seeing various things. I think I would leave out the modals.
Note: after '...kama la' you don't need 'wile' to express future -- which it doesn't do anyhow.
Otherwise, good as usual.