"Prof. McGonagall acted as though she really (only?) wanted to talk about this, which was the real cause: She spent the whole day on a cold stone wall. She stared cuttingly at Dumbledore. In the critters' time, indeed in her time, he never stared similarly. This (?) knew well that, on the subject of the talk of "everybody", s/he/they/it did not think that this thing was real. If Dumbledore said this was real, he cae to believe that this was real. But Dumbledore got another Sherbet Lemon and didn't talk to McGonagall.
"Many people say" he finally said "that last night, Voldemort moved in the town Godric's Box. He was looking for several Potters. Again, Lili Potter and Jen Potter are ... are ... they are ... dead."
Dumbledore bowed his head. Prof. McGonagall gasped.
"Lily and Jen ... I don't think the truth. In the past, I did not want to believe the truth. O, Albus, oh ..."
Dumbledore moved (I would have used 'lon', "placed") on her and touched her on her upraised hands (?). "I know, I know." Dumbledore said miserably.
'wile pi mute ali toki' is unproblematic grammatically, since modalness flows through adverbs OK. The comma is slightly off-putting and isn't needed *in this case* (i.e., sometime it would help) since 'ali' is a phrase ender in almost every context.
'ni:' within 'la' phrase is OK, but we need a better device for marking the end of the metasentence in which the 'ni:' complement is embedded. I've been using dashes (a suggestion from over on Facebook), but it doesn't quite work yet.
The 'ijo's got me totally lost at some point . I think that, as my wife says when I say, out of the blue, "That looks good", "Use your nouns!" (with various embroideries). It sometimes violates the original, of course, but we don't have as rich a pronoun system. 'ni' as a noun refers to facts, not things, so I may have gotten further lost in that first paragraph.