Thanks for looking into this. I'll look around a bit and see what I find of other tp haiku here and elsewhere. I haven't read much tp poetry before. I'm still learning how and where to dig up texts and resources for tp...
As for the syllable pattern, I tend to completely disregard the 17 syllable (or on
) pattern of traditional japanese haiku when writing or translating haiku. What works well for japanese does not necessarily work so well for other languages. There are for instance cases where directly translating a 5-syllable line of a japanese haiku gives you a single syllable in English. Adding four syllables to that is not translating, as I see it.
But that's a discussion for another time. As for this case, Santoka himself did not write 17 syllable/on haiku. His form was completely freestyle, mostly very minimalistic. Therefore I feel completely free to follow his example when translating him.
I'll steer closer to 17 syllables when approaching some more conservative ones, like Basho, but I'll put content - and the premises of tp - before form in any case.
Another newbie question... which corpus is it you mentioned? Is it on tokipona.net?
janKipo wrote:old pond/big frog/ker-splash!
ni li pona tawa mi.
taso mi wile sona e ni:
kalama telo li seme?
ala li sin lon anpa suno. jan ala li ken toki e ni: 'o lukin, ni li sin a!' tan ni: ale li kama li tawa weka lon tenpo pini kin.- Eccl. 1.10