sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

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Sasin
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sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby Sasin » Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:42 pm

jan lili moli

ni li tawa jan lili moli.
jan lili pimeja en jan lili walo li moli kin.

jan suli li jo e mani mute.
ona li awen lon.
ona li awen moku e telo loje pimeja e mani jelo kiwen.
ona li pilin ala tawa jan lili moli.
kulupu pali li kama wan la jan lili li moli lon ma telo pi ma Misisipi.
kulupu pali li kama wan la jan lili li moli lon nasin pi ma tomo Sikako.
kulupu pali li kama wan la jan lili li moli lon ma kasi kili pi ma Kalisonja.
jan walo en jan Pilipina en jan pimeja en jan Mesiko en jan lili ante mute li moli.
ona li wile ala kute e nimi pakala.
ona li wile ala jo e mani ike.
ona li wile ala e mute lili.
ona li wile ala pilin e ala.

jan sona suli li awen lon li sitelen e nimi mute e lipu mute.
ona li ko e jan lili moli kepeken ilo sitelen ona.
jan suli mute li utala e jan lili moli kepeken luka wawa.
ona li pakala e jan lili moli kepeken nimi suli en palisa en kiwen lili.
pali ni li pilin ike e kulupu.
taso jan lili moli li wawa e kulupu.
ona li sama kiwen wawa lon insa pi telo loje kulupu.
jan suli li jo e mani mute.
ona li wile ala e ni: kulupu
li moku e kiwen wawa pi jan lili moli
li kama sona e wawa kulupu
li kute e jan Ankelo Enton
li wan.

jan lili moli o!
tawa sina la sitelen kiwen suli li lon seme?
ona li lon insa pi pilin mi taso.
ken la sijelo sina li weka lon ma telo anu tomo pi poki jan anu ma kasi anu telo linja sama jan Linke.
taso tenpo kama la noka tawa pi kulupu mute li sewi e sitelen ale pi olin wawa kin tawa sina.
sina sona pilin e ni.
luka pimeja en luka walo li kama wan.
kepeken kon wawa pi jan lili moli la kalama musi pi open sin li sewi li awen a.


Langston Hughes (jan Lanton Ju)
toki pona pi jan Asuwa (Sasin)
Last edited by Sasin on Thu Feb 18, 2016 10:55 pm, edited 7 times in total.
ijo li mute li wan

janKipo
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Re: sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby janKipo » Thu Feb 11, 2016 6:44 pm

p0na. Without the English, I can't comment on the translation work. But
"When workers unite, ..." we would expect that children would not be dead in the Delta or Chiraq or Salinas
the 'ala' for sentence negation apparently has to go immediately after the head of the predicate, i.e. the word right after 'li'. so 'wile ala kute' etc.
prob don't need 'pali' with 'sitelen'
"blood" is usually just 'telo loje' ; 'pimeja' added for scansion of politics?
'ona li wile ala'
'moku'
Ankelo Enton?
'insa pi pilin mi taso li lon'
If you must use commas with 'la' (why?), put them after the 'la'. where they belong if at all.
either 'kalama musi pona ali sin kin' or pona pi sina ali kin' or 'pona ali pi sin kin' Not sure what you meant.
Very moving.

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Sasin
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Re: sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby Sasin » Thu Feb 11, 2016 11:44 pm

sitelen musi toki Inli li ni: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/kids-who-die/

janKipo wrote:"blood" is usually just 'telo loje' ; 'pimeja' added for scansion of politics?

haha, no, i just imagine blood as being dark red. ( :

janKipo wrote:If you must use commas with 'la' (why?), put them after the 'la'. where they belong if at all.

i'll probably get rid of them. i was modeling after comma-filled examples in pu.

thank you!
ijo li mute li wan

jan_Lope
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Re: sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby jan_Lope » Fri Feb 12, 2016 7:58 am

Sasin wrote:ona li pakala e jan lili moli kepeken nimi suli en palisa en kiwen lili.


jan Sasin o, toki!

This sentence don't correspond to the Toki Pona rules. "en" is used to joins (compound) nouns in subjects or pi phrases.
Please see
* the official Toki Pona book page 56: Join multiple subjects with "en".
* http://tokipona.net/tp/janpije/okamasona12.php : You can use en with pi if two people own something together
* http://www.albanocruz.com/ext/tokipona/ ... kipona.pdf page 42
* http://tokipona.info/Lecionoj/42
* http://rowa.giso.de/languages/toki-pona ... 0000000000

To avoid to drift off in a Toki Pona slang it is better is to write this sentence in this way:

ona li pakala e jan lili moli, kepeken nimi suli, kepeken palisa, kepeken kiwen lili.

Can I use your translation as a text example in my lessons?
http://rowa.giso.de/languages/toki-pona ... 0000000000

pona!
Last edited by jan_Lope on Fri Feb 12, 2016 2:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.
pona!
jan Lope
http://rowa.giso.de/languages/toki-pona/ (Lessons)
http://rowa.giso.de/languages/toki-pona/dcg/ (Prolog and DCG)

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janKipo
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Re: sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby janKipo » Fri Feb 12, 2016 9:08 am

Hyperprescriptivism. 'en' can be used anywhere except between sentences. To mark fusion of similar sentences, it can be used anywhere except between predicates and between direct objects. Nice to see that Lope does allow it in 'pi' phrases, however (I wonder where he thinks those come from).

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Sasin
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Re: sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby Sasin » Fri Feb 12, 2016 12:22 pm

tenpo ni la mi ante e kulupu nimi nanpa tu tu.
toki lon lipu ni li pona mute tawa mi. pona!
ijo li mute li wan

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Sasin
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Location: ma Masatuse pi ma Mewika

Re: sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby Sasin » Fri Feb 12, 2016 12:29 pm

jan_Lope wrote:Can I use your translation as a text example in my lessons?


certainly, but do wait. i am still reflecting on some phrases and may make a few more changes. pona!
ijo li mute li wan

janKipo
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Re: sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby janKipo » Fri Feb 12, 2016 1:35 pm

'toki pi lon lipu ni' (though that change would give Lope kittens.

janKipo
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Re: sitelen musi ante pi jan Lanton Ju

Postby janKipo » Sat Feb 27, 2016 5:41 pm

Kids Who Die by Langston Hughes
by ADMIN posted on JULY 14, 2013

This is for the kids who die,
Black and white,
For kids will die certainly.
The old and rich will live on awhile,
As always,
Eating blood and gold,
Letting kids die.

Kids will die in the swamps of Mississippi
Organizing sharecroppers
Kids will die in the streets of Chicago
Organizing workers
Kids will die in the orange groves of California
Telling others to get together
Whites and Filipinos,
Negroes and Mexicans,
All kinds of kids will die
Who don’t believe in lies, and bribes, and contentment
And a lousy peace.

Of course, the wise and the learned
Who pen editorials in the papers,
And the gentlemen with Dr. in front of their names
White and black,
Who make surveys and write books
Will live on weaving words to smother the kids who die,
And the sleazy courts,
And the bribe-reaching police,
And the blood-loving generals,
And the money-loving preachers
Will all raise their hands against the kids who die,
Beating them with laws and clubs and bayonets and bullets
To frighten the people—
For the kids who die are like iron in the blood of the people—
And the old and rich don’t want the people
To taste the iron of the kids who die,
Don’t want the people to get wise to their own power,
To believe an Angelo Herndon, or even get together

Listen, kids who die—
Maybe, now, there will be no monument for you
Except in our hearts
Maybe your bodies’ll be lost in a swamp
Or a prison grave, or the potter’s field,
Or the rivers where you’re drowned like Leibknecht
But the day will come—
You are sure yourselves that it is coming—
When the marching feet of the masses
Will raise for you a living monument of love,
And joy, and laughter,
And black hands and white hands clasped as one,
And a song that reaches the sky—
The song of the life triumphant
Through the kids who die.


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