Agh! Sorry for any confusion there! TP is in the description and "Tongan" captions, but it's been slightly modified against the original as I had to play around with sentences to match up (roughly) the syllable count. Here's the original text, and what was intended of mine (couldn't get columns to work, so less information here):
Lost in skies of powdered gold /First bit is self-explanatory
Caught in clouds of silver ropes
Showered by the empty hopes
As I tumble down, falling fast to the ground /All those previous sentences apply to this. Imagine those are lumped together, and then the end comes.
*I know I'll wither so peel away the bark /"Know" took too long, I though "seli" was a snappy word that could maybe equate to
Because nothing grows when it is dark / dehydration. "Suno" as it rhymed, and "ala li suli" vs "kama suli" could sound weird.
In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear / "See it all so clear" struck me as too English, so I both rhymed and kept some of the old message.
I see it all so clear "e ale" didn't rhyme. (I mean, even if it's elsewhere, toki pona li toki pona li toki ante ala.)
**Whoa-o-o-o, Cover your crystal eyes /Here's the "a a a a", jan Kipo o
I rigged this section to rhyme, so for that I needed the different
And feel the tones that tremble down your spine /"o oko li pini" (may <your, someone's...> eyes be covered/closed) v.s. the imperative.
Whoa-o-o-o, Cover your crystal eyes
And let your colours bleed and blend with mine /Played around quite a bit to get this one that fits. Liked the colours metaphor too much.
Making waves in pitch black sand /Here's where "my personal logic" really kicks in. I meant "x li tawa e ko pimeja" but just dropped
Feel the salt dance on my hands /the start. Think what you want, but hey, rhyme and meter fit. (Now I think about it again, I
Raw and charcoal coloured thighs feel so cold /probably could have used "pi" and had it as a fragment/lone noun, but "e" sounds nicer...)
And my skin feels so paper-thin /"sin" - I was thinking along the lines of Japanese "nama". Now I looked it up again I don't know
/what the heck I was thinking. But, I guess it could be raw to a point.
But I'm okay in see-through skin /Went for the meaning a bit here. Character knows what they've done, their faults, blah blah.
I forgive what is within
Because I'm in this house /Took it to mean mind. Put more emphasis on the time as that's just how it turned out. Had to
I'm in this home /play around with different structures for a while to get it. Also, "tenpo ale la" v.s. "lon tenpo
All my time /ale"... Sounds better and gives the end more of a punch, in my opinion. Just imagine it as the
/start of the sentence that got left behind instead or as poetic license.
Phew! Well, there you go. Again, I'm not really interested in a technological debate about things, it's just my own personal work and how I did it, but you guys can knock yourselves out.