Postby janKipo » Fri Apr 03, 2015 3:50 pm
Meli sama tu
The picture suggests a devil, Christianly 'kon anpa'. 'insa PI tomo' (th directional nouns are not yet part of the preposition – a likely development).
'tenpo pi pini mute' again. 'pilin taso' raises two questions: is 'taso' or 'wan' the better word for “lonely” (and what exactly is the difference between them)? and is the right form to follow 'pona lukin' or 'pilin pona'? I have no fixed view on the first matter, except that 'taso' seems to emphasize isolation and difference and 'wan' the singleness (not that that clears much up). On the second I have a standard rant in favor of the 'pona lukin' version, which doesn't conflict with other uses ('pilin pona' means “thinks well”, for example) and more accurately reflects the situation, separating, in the pilin cases, emotional from ethical from physical cases. But people persist in using sometimes the one, sometimes the other, with not visible reason other than calques (as I think of them – some argue other grounds).
'tawa monsi pi meli tu' is mildly suggestive, maybe 'tawa lon monsi' is less suggestive of sodomizing (I seem to be getting either squeamish or prurient).
'pilin ike tan ni' is slightly awkward, since, in that position, 'tan ni' tends to look ahead to the following sentence rather than back, but the punctuation should prevent problems and the usual 'tan ni la' for back reference is even more awkward here.
'jan pi sona mute' (just one, but very wise)
'tenpo mute' “often”, Probably 'tenpo suli' “for a long time”, but this all needs work. Probably don't need 'ijo'.
'tomo lape sina', probably 'sama'
'ona li kalama .. la ona' more like sequence than “if/when”: just drop 'la ona'
'jan ali li sona e ni: kama pi lon tomo lape' “Everybody knows this, the goings on in the bedroom” Surely this is 'jan ala' “nobody” and, since 'kama ...lape' is a noun phrase, you don't need 'ni' but can use the phrase directly as DO. …
'ona li telo oko mute' usually 'li pana e telo oko mute', not sure the shorter form works or 'li telo e oko mute'