jan Meta

Creativity: Poetry, music, comics, etc.
Kreado: Poezio, muziko, bildrakontoj, ktp.
jan_Pusa
Posts: 97
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Location: ma tomo Keson, ma Pilipina
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jan Meta

Postby jan_Pusa » Thu Mar 26, 2015 7:32 am

sina jan ike
sina ike tawa ali mi
o moli! o moli!
sina moli la mi ali sin
Last edited by jan_Pusa on Thu Apr 16, 2015 11:18 am, edited 2 times in total.
olin jan li ike la ni li pakala mute.
Kung ang mahalin ka ay bawal, ito'y napakasakit.

janKipo
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Re: jan Meta

Postby janKipo » Thu Mar 26, 2015 10:32 am

a! jan Meta li jan pona ali ala tawa sina. taso mi wile sona e ni: sina ken ala ken ante e nimi 'ali' tawa nimi 'wan' en ante e nimi wan tawa nimi 'ali' lon sitelen sina. Both words have been used for "whole" ad I am not sure which works better in this case and similarly 'wan mi ali' seems to be the same as 'ali mi'.

jan_Pusa
Posts: 97
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:18 pm
Location: ma tomo Keson, ma Pilipina
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Re: jan Meta

Postby jan_Pusa » Fri Mar 27, 2015 12:48 pm

I meant to say "I hate you with every fiber of my being" by saying "you (li) bad to piece-me-all", i.e.: you are bad to all my pieces. I do admit 'ali mi' does seem to do the job just as well.
olin jan li ike la ni li pakala mute.
Kung ang mahalin ka ay bawal, ito'y napakasakit.

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janAetherStar
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Re: jan Meta

Postby janAetherStar » Mon Mar 30, 2015 11:33 pm

Poems like this look so cute in toki pona! Nice job :) Note, though, that you don't need 'li' with 'sina'. Personally, I take 'ali mi' as 'my all, my entire world'. I think it fits well :) With the last sentence though, you'd want to say 'sina moli la ali mi li sin' (when you die, my 'all' will be restored/renewed). The sentence 'sina moli la mi ali sin' is a bit more like 'When you die, I will be the new everything'. Sorta. Hope that's all goods :) lon pona!
ale li pona. :)
sina o sona e ni.

jan_Pusa
Posts: 97
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:18 pm
Location: ma tomo Keson, ma Pilipina
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Re: jan Meta

Postby jan_Pusa » Thu Apr 16, 2015 11:37 am

Thanks for the heads-up on sina. I don't know how that got past me (or anyone else)...

As for ali, i've been using it to mean 'life' ever since I started out with TP. So basically when I say/see 'ali mi' the first translation I think of is 'my life'. But really, I see nothing wrong with your translation of the poem.
olin jan li ike la ni li pakala mute.
Kung ang mahalin ka ay bawal, ito'y napakasakit.


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