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toki musi pi nimi ala

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janAetherStar
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toki musi pi nimi ala

Postby janAetherStar » Mon Feb 24, 2014 4:42 am

Just remembered this! Wrote this a bit back, didn't finish it. Here it is:
a! tenpo ni la mi sona e sitelen mi! tenpo pini la mi sitelen e ni. mi pini ala e toki ni.
_____________________________

Ok guys, this might be a bit long. Can someone please proofread it and make sure that it is readable in toki pona? I'm going to write it out on Minecraft and put it in a library on the server Craftlang, and so I need to make sure it's all good. Please read the toki pona one first and make a guess before seeing the English one. Thanks!
toki. ken la ni li suli tawa sina. toki mi li ike anu sina sona ala e toki la o toki e ni!

This story is set in the future.
toki musi ni li lon tenpo kama.


toki pona:

1.
mi jan sin tawa tomo sona ni. jan ala li lukin e mi.jan li toki insa kulupu pi jan pona mute taso. sina lon tomo ni la, sina kute e toki ante mute. jan ale li pana e kalama. taso, sina kute mute e ilo kute lon insa pi nena kute sina. jan li toki kepeken toki ante la, ilo kute li toki sama jan ilo kepeken toki sina. mi lukin e kulupu jan mute. jan li toki. mi kute e toki mute, e toki Kewenja, e toki Nasi... a, e toki pi kalama musi SoLeSo. mije li jo e ilo palisa pi kalama musi li pali e kalama. ilo kute mi li toki e ni: "taso, waso li lon ala ma ni!". jan mute lon insa kulupu li toki e "a a a!". mi sona e ni: jan li sin la, ona li sona e kulupu pona tan ni: jan ante li ken toki kepeken toki sama. taso, mi taso li sona e toki pona. mi sona e jan ala. mi wile mute toki e "toki". taso, ilo tenpo li kalama. a, pakala. sona li kama...

2.
jan sona li toki... li toki... li toki... mi pilin lape lili! jan ale li sitelen kepeken ilo lipu sitelen. ilo li pana e suno. taso, mi ken taso lukin e toki pona. ilo lukin mi li ante e suno. ilo kute mi li ante e kalama. mi ken pilin e toki pona lon insa pi uta mi. tenpo sama la, mi ken pilin taso kepeken toki pona. a! ni li nasa! jan wan li pali e toki pona. mi wile e toki pi jan mute. taso, toki Inli li weka... weka...
kalama BAN! jan sona Elemo li toki e ni kepeken kalama mute: "jan Toluna o! sina ken ala sitelen kepeken sitelen pi toki Sonko!"
"tan seme?!"
a! toki pona! ilo kute mi li ante ala e toki "tan seme"! jan... Toluna?... li toki e ni kepeken toki ante: "sina mute li toki e ni: "jan ale li toki kepeken toki sin la, jan ale li wan." taso, mi pilin e ni-"
"sina sona ala! sina awen toki la o tawa tomo pi jan lawa pi tomo sona!"
ilo tenpo li kalama. pakala! mi wile mute toki tawa jan Toluna. taso, ona li tawa. jan Elemo li wile e ni: mi awen li pini e pali mi. pakala mute.

3.
tenpo moku. mi lon supa lon insa pi tomo moku. mi moku lili e moku. taso, moku li ike tawa mi. mi ken ala lukin e jan Toluna. mi taso li lon supa ni. mi tawa e ilo moku tawa uta mi. oko mi li lukin e ni: kulupu wan li toki kepeken kalama lili lili. mi wile mute kute e toki. ilo kute mi li... seme?? ilo kute mi li kalama e "Pi-Pi"... li sona ala e toki pi kulupu ni. ni li ike. jan kulupu li toki kepeken toki ike. jan lawa pi tomo sona li sona e ni la...

4.
mi pilin e ni: jan Toluna li lon ma. ma pi tomo sona ni li kiwen walo. kasi anpa li lon ala. taso kasi tu wan li lon. supa li lon poka kasi. suno li pana e suno tawa ma la, ma walo li pana e sitelen. jan li ken lukin e sitelen tawa pi sin pi tenpo ni. ilo pi kalama musi li lon insa ma. jan li tawa sewi ilo la ma li pana e kalama musi. ni li sin li musi tawa mi. mi tawa sewi ilo li pali e kalama musi.
*mu-n li-li li po-na.
si-na lo-n se-m-e?
si-na lo-n in-sa pi,
se-wi su-li pi-me-ja...*
jan ante li pini e kalama musi.
*mu-n li-li li po-na.
si-na lo-n se-m-e*
mi lukin e jan. a!
"jan ante mute li sona ala e kalama musi ni. mi wile sona e tan."
"jan Toluna o!" ni li pona mute!
jan Toluna li toki e ni: "sina sona e toki pona? nimi sina li seme? o awen. sina sona e mi tan seme?"
mi toki e ni: " mi jan Makata. tenpo pini la, mi lukin e ni: jan sona Elemo li ike tawa sina. sina toki e "tan seme" kepeken toki pona. taso, sina kepeken e toki pona tan seme? tenpo ni la sina toki kepeken toki Ankoso."
"a... nimi li kama. nimi li tawa?" jan Toluna li tawa e lawa ona. "mi sona al-"
jan ante li toki e ni: "a, sina tu o... sina tu li ken ala ken tawa? mi wile kepeken e ilo musi."

English (some bits may be a little bit more fleshed out or poetic to suit English, sorry):

1.
I'm the 'new kid' at this school. I'm practically invisible. People are off talking only in their own groups of friends.
If you're at this school, you can hear so many languages. Everyone emits a thunderous noise. However, you hear your translator in your ear shouting above the din. Whenever someone uses a language you don't, the translator relays back the message in a robotic voice in the language that you do. I look around at the numerous groups of people. People are chatting, and I can hear so many languages; Quenya, Na'vi... oh, and there's the musical language, SolReSol. One guy wields a flute and belts out a sound. My translator rings, "But there are no birds in this land!" Most of the group started to laugh.
I know that when someone's new here, they know exactly what group they fit in to. This is because there will always be someone who speaks their language. But I'm the only one here who can speak toki pona. I don't know anyone. I have the urge to cry out a simple 'hello', but the bell rings and stops me. Damn. Here comes class...

2.
The teacher just talks... and talks... and talks... I'm starting to get tired! Everyone's scribbling on their Holopads. The holopads give out a dim-ish light, but I can only see in toki pona. My contacts change the light. My translator changes sound. I can feel toki pona in my mouth, and at the same I can only think in toki pona. Gah! This is just crazy! Toki pona is a constructed language, and I am desperate for a natural one. But English is distant... so distant...
BANG! Mr. Elmo roars at a student. "TOLUNA! You can NOT write in Hanzi!"
"Why not?!"
Toki pona! My translator didn't change it! ...Toluna?... continued to retaliate, but in a different tongue, "You all say that if everyone speaks in the new languages, everyone will live in peace. But I think that-"
"You know nothing! If you continue to speak in this manner, then you will go to the principal's office!"
Then the bell rang. Damn! I wanted to talk to Toluna so badly, but he left, and I was meant to stay back and finish work. Just... damn.

3.
It's lunch. I'm sitting at a table in the cafeteria and not eating much. The food is foul in my mouth, and I can't see Toluna. I'm the only one at this table. I slowly move a spoon to my mouth. My eyes spy a group talking in hushed whispers, and I suddenly get the urge to hear what they're saying. My translator... What?? My translator makes a "Beep-Beep" noise... and doesn't know the language they're speaking in. This is bad. The people of the group are speaking in a restricted language. If the principal knew...

4.
I think that Toluna must be outside. The school courtyard is a white stone, and there's no grass. However, there are 3 trees with benches by them. When the sun shines on the ground, the white floor shows a picture and people can watch the latest news. There's a built-in floor piano. Whenever someone steps on it, it emits a sound. This is new and amusing to me, so I stomped on the keys and played a tune.
*Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are,
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky...*
Someone else finished the tune.
*Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.*
I looked at who finished the song. Ah!
"So many others don't know that song. I want to know the reason."
"Toluna!" This is great!
He replied, "You know toki pona? What's your name? Wait. How do you know me?"
"I'm Makata. Before, I saw Mr. Elmo get pissed off at you. You said "why" in toki pona. But, why did you use toki pona? You're using Angos now."
"Uh... words come, words go?" He shook his head. "I don't kno-"
Someone else butted in. "Hey, uh, you two... Can you move please? I kinda want to use that."

_____________________
And that's it. It was gonna be all conspiratical, they find out that the school is slowly cutting off all of the "unnecessary" conlangs and is planning to roll out what's basically Newspeak with a different name and more conlang-y (Nova-Tola?). Aww well, this stuff I wrote was just the build up. Thanks for reading! :D
_______
toki musi li pini. tenpo pini la mi wile sitelen e ni: ona tu li kama sona e ni: tomo sona li pini e toki 'namako'. tenpo kama la tomo sona li pana e sona pi toki ike ike ike ike ike pi lon poki.
tenpo ni la mi wile ala sitelen e ni. sina lukin e toki musi ni la sina pona! :D
ale li pona. :)
sina o sona e ni.

janKipo
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Re: toki musi pi nimi ala

Postby janKipo » Mon Feb 24, 2014 12:56 pm

toki musi ni li lon tenpo kama.
[Use of prepositions for time not well established. This is probably right, but 'tenpo kama la ni li kama' is safer for now, though less clear]

toki pona:

1.
mi jan sin tawa ['lon'? No motion involved] tomo sona ni. jan ala li lukin e mi.jan li toki insa kulupu pi jan pona mute taso. sina lon tomo ni la, sina kute e toki ante mute. jan ale li pana e kalama. taso, sina kute mute e ilo kute ['pi' it's the earpiece, not the hearing that is inside your ear (well, maybe it doesn'r matter)]lon insa pi nena kute sina. jan li toki kepeken toki ante la, ilo kute li toki sama jan ilo ['pi'? I really just am not sure here] kepeken toki sina. mi lukin e kulupu jan mute. jan li toki. mi kute e toki mute, e toki Kewenja, e toki Nasi... a, e toki pi kalama musi SoLeSo.[there should be a cute way to do this. This works, as does 'sama toki Kewenja en toki Nasi en ...'] mije li jo e ilo palisa pi kalama musi li pali e kalama. ilo kute mi li toki e ni: "taso, waso li lon ala ma ni!". jan mute ['pi' defintely this time] lon insa kulupu li toki e "a a a!". mi sona e ni: jan li sin la, ona li sona e kulupu pona tan ni: jan ante li ken toki kepeken toki sama. taso, mi taso li sona e toki pona. mi sona e jan ala. mi wile mute toki e "toki". taso, ilo tenpo li kalama. a, pakala. sona li kama...

2.
jan sona li toki... li toki... li toki... mi pilin lape lili! jan ale li sitelen kepeken ilo lipu sitelen. [I suspect 'ilo sitelen' is enough or 'ilo pi siele lipu' for certainty] ilo li pana e suno. taso, mi ken taso lukin e toki pona [probably 'ken lukin e toki pona taso' English is rather lax with placing“only”]. ilo lukin mi li ante e suno. ilo kute mi li ante e kalama. mi ken pilin e toki pona lon insa pi uta mi [?]. tenpo sama la, mi ken pilin taso kepeken toki pona [again, 'toki pona taso']. a! ni li nasa! jan wan li pali e toki pona. mi wile e toki pi jan mute. taso, toki Inli li weka... weka...
kalama BAN! jan sona Elemo li toki e ni kepeken kalama mute: "jan Toluna o! sina ken ala sitelen kepeken sitelen pi toki Sonko!"
"tan seme?!"
a! toki pona! ilo kute mi li ante ala e toki "tan seme"! jan... Toluna?... li toki e ni kepeken toki ante: "sina mute li toki e ni: "jan ale li toki kepeken toki sin la, jan ale li wan." taso, mi pilin e ni-"
"sina sona ala! sina awen toki la o tawa tomo pi jan lawa pi tomo sona!"
ilo tenpo li kalama. pakala! mi wile mute toki tawa jan Toluna. taso, ona li tawa. jan Elemo li wile e ni: mi awen li pini e pali mi. pakala mute.

3.
tenpo moku. mi lon supa lon insa pi tomo moku. mi moku lili e moku. taso, moku li ike tawa mi. mi ken ala lukin e jan Toluna. mi taso li lon supa ni. mi tawa e ilo moku tawa uta mi. oko mi li lukin e ni: kulupu wan li toki kepeken kalama lili lili. mi wile mute kute e toki. ilo kute mi li... seme?? ilo kute mi li kalama e ['kalama' names need nouns]"Pi-Pi"... li sona ala e toki pi kulupu ni. ni li ike. jan kulupu li toki kepeken toki ike. jan lawa pi tomo sona li sona e ni la...

4.
mi pilin e ni: jan Toluna li lon ma. ma pi tomo sona ni li kiwen walo. kasi anpa li lon ala. taso kasi tu wan li lon. supa li lon poka kasi. suno li pana e suno tawa ma la, ma walo li pana e sitelen. jan li ken lukin e sitelen tawa pi sin pi tenpo ni. ilo pi kalama musi li lon insa ma. jan li tawa sewi ilo la ma li pana e kalama musi. ni li sin li musi tawa mi. mi tawa sewi ilo li pali e kalama musi.
*mu-n li-li li po-na.
si-na lo-n se-m-e?
si-na lo-n in-sa pi,
se-wi su-li pi-me-ja...*
jan ante li pini e kalama musi.
*mu-n li-li li po-na.
si-na lo-n se-m-e*
mi lukin e jan. a!
"jan ante mute li sona ala e kalama musi ni. mi wile sona e tan."
"jan Toluna o!" ni li pona mute!
jan Toluna li toki e ni: "sina sona e toki pona? nimi sina li seme? o awen. sina sona e mi tan seme?"
mi toki e ni: " mi jan Makata. tenpo pini la, mi lukin e ni: jan sona Elemo li ike tawa sina. sina toki e [nimi]"tan seme" kepeken toki pona. taso, sina kepeken e toki pona tan seme? tenpo ni la sina toki kepeken toki Ankoso."
"a... nimi li kama. nimi li tawa?" jan Toluna li tawa e lawa ona. "mi sona al-"
jan ante li toki e ni: "a, sina tu o... sina tu li ken ala ken tawa? mi wile kepeken e ilo musi."

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janAetherStar
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Re: toki musi pi nimi ala

Postby janAetherStar » Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:10 pm

toki musi ni li lon tenpo kama.
[Use of prepositions for time not well established. This is probably right, but 'tenpo kama la ni li kama' is safer for now, though less clear] - Yeah, I agree.

1.
mi jan sin tawa ['lon'? No motion involved] tomo sona ni. - I meant 'tawa' as a preposition for 'to'. I was gonna write 'tawa jan pi tomo sona ni' (new to the people of the school, which would make more sense), I forgot why I didn't.
taso, sina kute mute e ilo kute ['pi' it's the earpiece, not the hearing that is inside your ear (well, maybe it doesn'r matter)]lon insa pi nena kute sina. - Meant 'lon' as a preposition (I think? I actually forgot the definition of preposition haha.) I've seen others do it. 'tool of hearing existing inside of extrusion hearing your' but not as part of a 'li' sentence. Or maybe it's just bad tp.
ilo kute li toki sama jan ilo ['pi'? I really just am not sure here] kepeken toki sina. - I honestly don't see where or why you'd put the pi, sorry. Maybe you can elaborate?
a, e toki pi kalama musi SoLeSo.[there should be a cute way to do this. This works, as does 'sama toki Kewenja en toki Nasi en ...']
jan mute ['pi' defintely this time] lon insa kulupu li toki e "a a a!". - Again, I don't really see your point with the 'pi'. Soz.

2.
jan ale li sitelen kepeken ilo lipu sitelen. [I suspect 'ilo sitelen' is enough or 'ilo pi siele lipu' for certainty] - ilo sitelen, yeah, I guess. Just wanted to add some shape :) ilo pi sitelen lipu is kinda better though :)
taso, mi ken taso lukin e toki pona [probably 'ken lukin e toki pona taso' English is rather lax with placing“only”]. - Right, soz. I see the picture now.
mi ken pilin e toki pona lon insa pi uta mi [?]. - Yeah, I can see where that's ambiguous. I guess a better version is 'mi ken pilin e toki pona kepeken uta mi'. Maybe. That sounds kinda weird though.
tenpo sama la, mi ken pilin taso kepeken toki pona [again, 'toki pona taso']. - Got it :) Will hopefully avoid the incorrect 'taso' things in the future :)

3.
ilo kute mi li kalama e ['kalama' names need nouns]"Pi-Pi"... - Thanks :)

4.
sina toki e [nimi]"tan seme" kepeken toki pona. - Again, thanks :)

Thanks in general for reading and correcting this! :D
ale li pona. :)
sina o sona e ni.

janKipo
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Re: toki musi pi nimi ala

Postby janKipo » Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:09 pm

sina kute mute e ilo kute ['pi' it's the earpiece, not the hearing that is inside your ear (well, maybe it doesn'r matter)]lon insa pi nena kute sina. - Meant 'lon' as a preposition (I think? I actually forgot the definition of preposition haha.) I've seen others do it. 'tool of hearing existing inside of extrusion hearing your' but not as part of a 'li' sentence. Or maybe it's just bad tp.

Three possibilities for this string: 1) it is an adverbial phrase modifying 'kute', saying where there hearing takes place. Of course, hearing is always in the ear, so this seems redundant. And, since the translator seems to be a widget in your ear, not a box on the table, say, this is doubly true. That is one legitimate reading of the string. 2) The second legitimate reading of the string is as a long adjective string: (((ilo kute) lon) insa) pi (nena kute) sina, with some questions about the tail here, whether 'sina' goes with 'nena kute' (most likely) or with everything that came before (also fairly probable). Similarly, does the 'pi nena kute [sina]' go just with 'insa; (which should then have a 'pi'. too) or with everything to the left. What sense there is to this suggests the first choice of these two, though the form goes with the second. 3) 'lon ... sina' is an adjective phrase modifying ' ilo kute', saying where it is. But adjective phrases of more than one word require 'pi' to rearrange the grouping. I assumed the correct answer was 3 (I take it 2 is impossible for sense reasons), so put in the 'pi', but admit 1 is also reasonable, so vacillated.

ilo kute li toki sama jan ilo ['pi'? I really just am not sure here] kepeken toki sina. - I honestly don't see where or why you'd put the pi, sorry. Maybe you can elaborate?

Same problem Does the translator talk like a tp-talking robot? or talk tp like a robot? As I said, the difference is too slight (I think, but I don't have a strong sense about robots speakers) for me to be sure which is meant,

jan mute ['pi' defintely this time] lon insa kulupu li toki e "a a a!". - Again, I don't really see your point with the 'pi'. Soz.

This can't be an adverbial phhrase, which comes at the end of the sentence, so must be an adjectival one, modifying 'jan mute'. Therefore, since more than one word, it needs 'pi'. Some of the early texts waffled on this, even though Pije's lessons were clear (but not always consistent).

The 'taso' problem is from English putting "only" in just any old where, thus creating ambiguities all over the place. tp doesn't have avoiding ambiguities as a goal exactly, but it doesn't hurt to help things along a bit (the 'pi' with adjectival PPs is another case).

Remembering that quotations are names and so need supporting nouns is a late tp skill. Logicians (hopefully) get to it earlier.

jan niki
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Re: toki musi pi nimi ala

Postby jan niki » Fri Feb 28, 2014 8:21 am

Toki musi sina ni li pona tawa mi. Mi wile sona e pini... :D


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