sitelen tawa pi toki pona: monsuta tu pi wan taso

[Delphij]

mi en jan pona tu mi li pali e sitelen tawa pi toki pona.

Mi kaj miaj amikoj faris filmon Toki pone.

There are english subtitles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jnb5NMPF ... b_Y7yt619c


I know the grammar is a little fail here and there, but feel free to correct if it makes you happy

[janKipo]

I'm not sure about happy, but possible virtuous. You need a 'li' before 'pali'.

[Kuti]

pona a!

[janSilipu]

This looks very good, but, alas, the sound on all three of my machines is somewhat murky ( even with the headset turned way up, lest you think it is merely senile audition). What I can make, after several runs through, is mainly correct. There are a couple of dropped 'li's and one case oe 'soWEli' . There may be others, but I am sure folks will let you know. It occurs to me that part of my problem is that I have only heard my tp and maybe a couple other Americans and this is proabably a European accent. Sorry to fault your machines and speech for my insularity.

[Delphij]

I am quite satisfied with this movie. It turned out much better than I first thought it would. The manuscript was written in about ten minutes, all filming was made in maybe 1-3 hours in the cold and my two friends do not speak any Toki Pona. If I had the time I would have posted the manuscript here at first to make sure there were no errors.

It is most likely European accent yes. I think jan Tejotol speaks very swedish and I believe I speak some mysterious mix of Croatian and Swedish accent.

This is the second movie made in Toki Pona, right?

[janKipo]

I think you are right, but I can't remember the other. A copy of the script would be helpful. By the way, the sounds got clearer toward the end, so maybe one can adapt fairly rapidly to unfamiliar accents. Thanks for the effort and the product.

[Kuti]

I had no problem to understood the first time. Accent is fine. But you forgot some "li".

"-toki jan Telepi
-toki… jan Tejotol, mi wile tawa.
-tawa seme?
-tawa ma pi ike olin.
-taso, mi olin e sina.
-mi wile tawa. mi ken ala pilin pona lon ni.
-a. ni li ike mute tawa mi.
-mi sona. taso mi pana e soweli tawa sina. ona toki e seme?
-mi sona ala.
-ona toki e mu.
-a pona. tawa pona jan pona mi.
-pona"

"-toki! mu! mu! mu‼"

"-a. telo!"

"-a a"
"-suno pona mi wile lape a"

"-mu! mi akesi mi moli e sina a!"
"-a!"

"-olin tawa ali. ala tawa mi."

"-jan akesi o, ala ken olin e sina. sina moli e jan ante.
-mi lukin ala lukin pona?
-sina pona e sinpin sina la sina lukin pona
-a ni li ike tawa mi. tempo ali la mi wan taso. kin sina wan taso anu seme?
-tenpo la mi wan taso."

"-suno pona! pini pona! ali li pona! aaaa!"
"-aaaa!"

[Delphij]

Haha, Kuti's script was more correct than mine!
In the end we actually did not follow the script and improvised instead. It was supposed to come another monster and kill them both, but we lacked actors.

Where did I forget "li"?

sina mute lukin e sitelen tawa mi li pona tawa mi //Thank you for watching our movie

[Kuti]

ona li
about the cat

[janKipo]

Thanks for the script; it helps a lot.

I

-tawa ma pi ike olin. the land of the loving evil or of the beloved evil. mi sona ala e ni

-mi sona. taso mi pana e soweli tawa sina. ona LI toki e seme? I still here 'soWEli' rather than 'SOweli', but I may just be projecting my own peonunciation errors onto the track

-ona LI toki e mu.
-a pona. tawa pona jan pona mi.
-pona"

"-toki! mu! mu! mu‼"

"-a. telo!"

"-a a"
"-suno pona mi wile lape a" Not sure what is here; probably a period after 'pona' but possibly a 'la'

"-mu! mi akesi mi moli e sina a!" Again, I here /aKEsi' rather than 'Akesi'. Nice; a proper monster is half beast ("mu") and half human ("a"). Why 'akesi' rather than 'monsuta', as in the title?
"-a!"

"-olin LI tawa ali. ala LI tawa mi." I think. Not sure what is intended here. If it is "Love comes to everyone but nothing comes to me" or some such, I would have put a 'kama' before each 'tawa'. Aesthetics!

"-jan akesi o, ala LI ken olin e sina. sina moli e jan ante.
-
-a ni li ike tawa mi. tempo ali la mi wan taso. kin sina wan taso anu seme? Not sure, but if you mean "Are you lonely too", then 'sina kin' and we can argue about 'li' here

"-suno pona! pini pona! ali li pona! aaaa!" "Good end"?
"-aaaa!"

sina mute LI lukin e sitelen tawa mi li pona tawa mi. Yeah, it looks like we should be able to do this, but we can't put a whole sentence in a noun slot. The easiest fix is period after 'sitelen tawa, then begin the new sentence with 'ni' We could also convert the sentence into a rather hideous and ambiguous NP: 'lukin pi sitelen tawa mi pi sina mute' The first is much more tp, as well as clearer.