I think I got you and Mato mixed up again Very sorry!
'sike suno' is standard for year, 'sike ma' would be a Ptolemaic day, I guess, btw, tp seems to love alliterations like 'sike suno sin'.
As noted elsewhere 'ko li [kama] anpa la one li kama telo lete.'
Not clear what "see the water like the things of the new year" is meant to mean. Oh, right, I suspect that "like the things of the new year" is more complex than just 'sama' but I don't know just what (I think it is the old schoolmarm like/as distinction: we cannot see the ice, just as we cannot see the future, but tha dies nothing toward telling me how to do it 'kama', events, might be clearer than 'ijo'.). Ice is 'telo kiwen' or something to distinguish it from plain water -- which we can/t see either, of course,
The rest is fine except for the uncertainty of where the 'pona' goes with 'pilin'