monsuta lon mi

Creativity: Poetry, music, comics, etc.
Kreado: Poezio, muziko, bildrakontoj, ktp.
jan_Pusa
Posts: 96
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:18 pm
Location: ma tomo Keson, ma Pilipina
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monsuta lon mi

Postby jan_Pusa » Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:22 pm

NOTE: a non-Pu word is used for poetic reasons.
I do not intend to write a Pu-compliant version.

9/11 2017: fixed a few lines that didn't make sense


mi jo e monsuta
monsuta li ali lon insa mi
monsuta li jo e wile
sama mi en sina
taso wile ni li ike
ni li sama jan ante
monsuta li awen lon insa mi
monsuta li awen e wile ona
Last edited by jan_Pusa on Mon Sep 11, 2017 2:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
olin jan li ike la ni li pakala mute.
Kung ang mahalin ka ay bawal, ito'y napakasakit.

janKipo
Posts: 2825
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:20 pm

Re: monsuta lon mi

Postby janKipo » Fri Sep 08, 2017 12:35 pm

'monsuta' may not be in pu, but is in wide use in the community int, i.e., is in the language.

I have a monster [maybe "fear"?]
This monster is my internal everything [?]
This monster has desires
Like you and me.
But these desires are bad.
If this is the same [?so?/lon?], a different monster
Monstrous is different inside me.
The monster changes its desires.

I don't get this one, but this is what it seems to say.

jan_Pusa
Posts: 96
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:18 pm
Location: ma tomo Keson, ma Pilipina
Contact:

Re: monsuta lon mi

Postby jan_Pusa » Sat Sep 09, 2017 4:22 am

Look like it needs some edits... I'll get back to it when I come back from my vacay/holiday. Btw, have you read my PM? I sent the preface for checking. Thanks!
olin jan li ike la ni li pakala mute.
Kung ang mahalin ka ay bawal, ito'y napakasakit.

janKipo
Posts: 2825
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:20 pm

Re: monsuta lon mi

Postby janKipo » Sat Sep 09, 2017 10:10 am

I think I have responded to everything I have received.

jan_Pusa
Posts: 96
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:18 pm
Location: ma tomo Keson, ma Pilipina
Contact:

Re: monsuta lon mi

Postby jan_Pusa » Mon Sep 11, 2017 1:53 am

Hmm... I have resent the preface via PM. Please check your inbox again. pona!
olin jan li ike la ni li pakala mute.
Kung ang mahalin ka ay bawal, ito'y napakasakit.

janKipo
Posts: 2825
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:20 pm

Re: monsuta lon mi

Postby janKipo » Mon Sep 11, 2017 11:46 am

My files show that I sent a replay on Sept 9, but when I look at the record of our exchange I find something totally different. I don't know what happened but I am resending my original reply (with some minor corrections).


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