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by janKipo
Sat Sep 22, 2018 10:09 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 7
Views: 2021

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

Whatever deficit there are seem to be mainly in the details of mood “mild remorse” “limp repenting” “go gaily”. and the like. Mild remorse would seem to involve feeling bad about what you have done -- though not very bad: ‘ike lili pilin pi pali ike’. or some such. ‘wawa ala’ is “weak”, but “limp” s...
by janKipo
Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:53 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 7
Views: 2021

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

Smoother. I still haven’t checked the original, so here is what I get from this “Craziness and disaster and evil and clutching Are in my spirit and make my body. I feed my tale of doing differently. It is good. I act like willful men. They feed bugs. My evil remains. My desire to act differently is ...
by janKipo
Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:41 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 7
Views: 2021

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

Grammatically, not much to complain about, except need a period at the end of the third line (I think). That also ends with a ‘pi’ followed by only one word, so needs either to drop the ‘pi’ or add a word. As a translation, I am less clear (why I don’t do poetry). I get (being literal as usual, with...
by janKipo
Mon Sep 03, 2018 5:27 pm
Forum: musi
Topic: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem
Replies: 6
Views: 15388

Re: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem

I like ‘supa’ for itself, but it would have kept my mind from wandering the way it did.
by janKipo
Mon Sep 03, 2018 5:24 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Chess and other games
Replies: 4
Views: 1586

Re: Chess and other games

It is, but describing a Rubix cube even with it is not easy.
by janKipo
Sun Sep 02, 2018 10:23 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 32
Views: 6585

Re: Genesis 1 translation

Nice and nicely compact after all the details.
2:1 ‘ali pi lon sewi en ma’
still think ‘lape’ is excessive, but that is fussiness.
by janKipo
Sat Sep 01, 2018 3:20 pm
Forum: musi
Topic: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem
Replies: 6
Views: 15388

Re: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem

No, I was just thinking along a different line (without any justification in the text). I might have used ‘supa’ for “lie” but ‘anpa’ is correct also.
by janKipo
Sat Sep 01, 2018 2:04 pm
Forum: musi
Topic: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem
Replies: 6
Views: 15388

Re: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem

There is a meadow. The morning sun warms it. Flowers of all colors emit pleasant odors. Bugs fly through the air and tay on plants. Nearby, many birds sing in. the forest. A man is sitting on a fallen tree. Weapons are beside him. The man is asleep. He does not see the forest and does not hear the b...
by janKipo
Wed Aug 29, 2018 1:31 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 32
Views: 6585

Re: Genesis 1 translation

This is (almost) all last minute fussinesses looking toward a final presentation. This is very nice indeed. {quote] open nanpa wan [/quote] We don’t have a standard system for citing texts. I suppose the usual, longwinded, version is ‘kipisi nanpa wan pi lipu Open’ , probably shortened to 'Open wan’...
by janKipo
Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:10 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 32
Views: 6585

Re: Genesis 1 translation

No meaning difference between ‘ali’ and ‘ale’; I use ‘ali’ because I am liable to confuse ‘ale’ and ‘ala’ (the worst minimal pair in history). wan ni li nasin pini tawa sewi en ma en ale lon pi sewi anu ma. A different structure from the original, but it amounts to the same thing and the original is...

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