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by janKipo
Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:53 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 4
Views: 223

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

Smoother. I still haven’t checked the original, so here is what I get from this “Craziness and disaster and evil and clutching Are in my spirit and make my body. I feed my tale of doing differently. It is good. I act like willful men. They feed bugs. My evil remains. My desire to act differently is ...
by janKipo
Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:41 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 4
Views: 223

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

Grammatically, not much to complain about, except need a period at the end of the third line (I think). That also ends with a ‘pi’ followed by only one word, so needs either to drop the ‘pi’ or add a word. As a translation, I am less clear (why I don’t do poetry). I get (being literal as usual, with...
by janKipo
Mon Sep 03, 2018 5:27 pm
Forum: musi
Topic: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem
Replies: 6
Views: 325

Re: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem

I like ‘supa’ for itself, but it would have kept my mind from wandering the way it did.
by janKipo
Mon Sep 03, 2018 5:24 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Chess and other games
Replies: 4
Views: 308

Re: Chess and other games

It is, but describing a Rubix cube even with it is not easy.
by janKipo
Sun Sep 02, 2018 10:23 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 30
Views: 697

Re: Genesis 1 translation

Nice and nicely compact after all the details.
2:1 ‘ali pi lon sewi en ma’
still think ‘lape’ is excessive, but that is fussiness.
by janKipo
Sat Sep 01, 2018 3:20 pm
Forum: musi
Topic: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem
Replies: 6
Views: 325

Re: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem

No, I was just thinking along a different line (without any justification in the text). I might have used ‘supa’ for “lie” but ‘anpa’ is correct also.
by janKipo
Sat Sep 01, 2018 2:04 pm
Forum: musi
Topic: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem
Replies: 6
Views: 325

Re: lape pi jan utala - A prose poem

There is a meadow. The morning sun warms it. Flowers of all colors emit pleasant odors. Bugs fly through the air and tay on plants. Nearby, many birds sing in. the forest. A man is sitting on a fallen tree. Weapons are beside him. The man is asleep. He does not see the forest and does not hear the b...
by janKipo
Wed Aug 29, 2018 1:31 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 30
Views: 697

Re: Genesis 1 translation

This is (almost) all last minute fussinesses looking toward a final presentation. This is very nice indeed. {quote] open nanpa wan [/quote] We don’t have a standard system for citing texts. I suppose the usual, longwinded, version is ‘kipisi nanpa wan pi lipu Open’ , probably shortened to 'Open wan’...
by janKipo
Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:10 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 30
Views: 697

Re: Genesis 1 translation

No meaning difference between ‘ali’ and ‘ale’; I use ‘ali’ because I am liable to confuse ‘ale’ and ‘ala’ (the worst minimal pair in history). wan ni li nasin pini tawa sewi en ma en ale lon pi sewi anu ma. A different structure from the original, but it amounts to the same thing and the original is...
by janKipo
Tue Aug 28, 2018 8:48 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 30
Views: 697

Re: Genesis 1 translation

There are the last verses :) I still think you should do 2:1-3 to finish the story mute luka tu tu sewi li toki e ni: mi pana e kasi pi jo kiwen pi lon selo ma e kasi suli ale pi jo kili pi jo kiwen tawa sina. ni li moku sina. I suppose ‘selo’ is OK, but I am used to ‘sinpin’ (literal) or ‘supa’ mu...

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