Search found 25 matches

by jan wiko
Sun Sep 23, 2018 4:43 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 7
Views: 7011

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

I didn't know about the contributor, I just transliterated my first name without further research.

Thank you again and I will try to improve the text with your feedback. In particular, your proposal for joyfulness is interesting. I also need to correct the term remorse and I can move on.
by jan wiko
Sat Sep 22, 2018 6:38 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 7
Views: 7011

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

The text becomes relatively close to the original but I can't translate the following expressions correctly. And we feed our mild remorse, mi pana e moku tawa toki mi pi pali ante. ona li pona. ? Our sins are insistent, our repentings are limp; ike mi li awen. wile mi pi pali ante li wawa ala. ? And...
by jan wiko
Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:20 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 7
Views: 7011

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

Hi, I had time to rework the translation, here is a suggestion. nasa en pakala en ike en awen jo li lon kon mi li pali e sijelo mi. mi pana e moku tawa toki mi pi pali ante. ona li pona. mi pali sama jan wile. ona li pana e moku tawa pipi. ike mi li awen. wile mi pi pali ante li wawa ala. jan li pan...
by jan wiko
Sat Sep 15, 2018 11:40 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 7
Views: 7011

Re: To the Reader — Baudelaire

Your translation is not so far from the poem even though I have a lot to review.
Now that I think about it I haven't given the link to Beaudelaire's text, here it is: https://fleursdumal.org/poem/099 (French and English).
by jan wiko
Sun Sep 09, 2018 6:06 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: To the Reader — Baudelaire
Replies: 7
Views: 7011

To the Reader — Baudelaire

I really enjoyed the last translation exercise and I want to keep improving. So I thought about Beaudelaire's first poem. Here's the first step in translation? tawa jan lukin Sake Potelake nasa en pakala en ike en awen li lon kon mi li pali e sijelo mi. mi pana e moku tawa toki mi pi pali ante pi po...
by jan wiko
Fri Aug 31, 2018 2:23 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 32
Views: 26241

Re: Genesis 1 translation

Thanks for your interesting feedback. I've tried to take that into account as much as I can. open wan wan: open la sewi li pali e sewi e ma. tu: ma li pakala li jo e ala. pimeja li lon sinpin anpa. kon sewi li tawa lon sewi telo. tu wan: sewi li toki e ni: suno o lon. suno li lon. tu tu: sewi li luk...
by jan wiko
Tue Aug 28, 2018 3:02 pm
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 32
Views: 26241

Re: Genesis 1 translation

I took all your comments into account to improve the text. This is the version I came up with. open nanpa wan wan open la sewi li pali e sewi e ma. tu ma li pakala li jo e ala. pimeja li sinpin anpa. kon sewi li tawa lon sewi telo. tu wan sewi li toki e ni: suno o lon. suno li lon. tu tu sewi li luk...
by jan wiko
Tue Aug 28, 2018 11:03 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 32
Views: 26241

Re: Genesis 1 translation

I still think you should do 2:1-3 to finish the story There it is: open nanpa tu wan ni li nasin pini tawa sewi en ma en ale lon pi sewi anu ma. tu tenpo suno nanpa luka tu la sewi li pini e pali ona. tenpo suno nanpa luka tu la sewi li lape tan ni: ona li pini e pali ona. tu wan sewi li pana e pon...
by jan wiko
Tue Aug 28, 2018 7:08 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 32
Views: 26241

Re: Genesis 1 translation

There are the last verses :) mute luka tu tu sewi li toki e ni: mi pana e kasi pi jo kiwen pi lon selo ma e kasi suli ale pi jo kili pi jo kiwen tawa sina. ni li moku sina. mute luka luka mi pana e moku pi kasi laso ale tawa soweli ma ale en waso sewi ale en akesi ma ale. ni li kama. mute luka luka ...
by jan wiko
Tue Aug 28, 2018 6:38 am
Forum: kama sona toki
Topic: Genesis 1 translation
Replies: 32
Views: 26241

Re: Genesis 1 translation

But ‘mije’ “male” for “human’ ‘jan’, seems clearly wrong That's right. I’m not sure about where/how the ‘tawa’ goes in; I suppose ‘soweli pi tawa pi lon ma ali’ If pi is used to change the word aggregation order, what is the point of putting it before a single word and not a group? The data is too ...